“A cautionary Tale”

“Everyone else is doing it”

” Kicking 8.5 miles in its mountain ass”

“I’m positively positive”

“The year for my girls”

“Environmental Dating”

“Happy 2009″

“Worlds greatest TV show: Crotch Mafia”

“Tacky Christmas Party”

Blogfully yours,

Summer

K to the R stories, Posts Grandma won't approve of, Random

School this week has been occupying more of my time than my cat Aurora likes. She is sick and tired of me sitting at the computer desk or the kitchen table instead of the couch where she can lay on my lap. In fact, she is so tired of hearing herself bitch about it that she has decided to try a new not-so-subtle approach to letting me know just how she feels about college.


Oh Aurora! One day it will all be over and we can be couch buddies again. Until then I guess my teachers will have to deal with homework covered in cat hair.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Back to School, Random

Me: “Hey babe, I need to talk to you about something and I know you are going to think I am a little crazy.”

ED: “Sure Hon, what is it?”

Me: “Could you please NOT put the lid down after you use the bathroom? I know it sounds funny, but Aurora drinks out of the toilet and you are cutting off her water supply.”

ED: “Your cat drinks out of the toilet?”

Me: “Yes.”

ED: “You realize you are asking me to go against everything I have been trained to do right?”

Me: “I am aware. But it would mean a lot to me so I don’t have to start giving the cat fresh water.”

ED: “I finally understand why your cat hates everyone.”

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Random

Last night I hit the gym, studied for my math test, revised my essay and watched the first 2 episodes of Heros (season one) with the boyfriend. I was a blogging slacker so I’m taking the easy way out and posting what I already posted on Facebook… although numbers 8 & 9 don’t really count.

23 Things about me.

1. I talk to my cat. I can’t leave the house in the morning without telling her goodbye and to be good.

2. I still bite my nails. It’s one of those nasty nervous habits that I have never been able to shake.

3. I ate Indian food for the first time in my life last Friday. It was amazing.

4. I started getting gray hair about 2 years ago.

5. I own my car. Paid it off last summer. I can’t tell you how much I love not having a car payment.

6. I was once told that I didn’t know how to be alone so I spent a year being single. Best unspoken challenge that I ever won.

7. I’ve never had a boyfriend with brown eyes.

8. I’m a blogger. My grandmother is my biggest fan/reader.

9. I recently created a blog category of “Posts grandma won’t approve of”

10. I hate seeing wrinkles. I spend way too much money on face potions and lotions.

11. At any given time I have 8-10 tubes of lip stick or lip gloss in my purse, mascara and powder. It’s slightly ridiculous.

12. I’m pretty sure my tech guys at work only tolerate my computer ignorance because I amuse them.

13. I have more condiments then actual food in my fridge.

14. I am never happier then when I am in the mountains; be it hiking, skiing, snowshoeing or camping, it is my happy place and gives me my sanity.

15. If I didn’t have to work I would donate all my time to charity and write a book.

16. I love being back in school. Over the Christmas break I missed it.

17. When I was a little girl I had a lisp and talked like tweety bird – one of those stories my Dad still loves to tell just to embarrass me.

18. I got divorced 3 1/2 years ago from my High School sweetheart. We are still friends to this day though.

19. I am very close with my family. I eat Sunday dinner with my parents at least 3 times a month.

20. I have beautiful-amazing-talented

Just me, Random

Summer

Random, drinking when posting

Random

Me: “Hi Stac. So I’m at the store and my Thanksgiving assignment is to make a Green Bean Casserole.”

Staci: “Ha ha! You have to cook!”

Me: “Yeah and I am in charge of bringing the coffee too. Don’t worry, I’m bringing the real stuff. None of the decaf crap. It’s one of the 2 times a year that the family will break the word of wisdom and I plan to take full advantage. Oh, and I got the yummy creamer too! Anyway, I came strait to the store from class and I don’t have a recipe for the casserole.”

Staci: “So…um…why are you calling me?”

Me: “Because you are such an amazing cook! Ha! Kidding. You live with Mom and Dad and can get the recipe for me.”

Staci: “Oh. Do you know where the recipe box is?”

Me: “YOU LIVE THERE! How would I know where it is? I guess the other option would be for you to jump online and google the recipe then text it to me or call me back with it.”

Staci: “Yeah, I could do that. Hold on.”

Me: “Holding. I can’t believe that they don’t have the recipe on the back of the cans of green beans. I was kind of counting on that but NONE of the cans, and I checked them all, had the recipe. I mean, what the hell?”

Staci: “The nerv.”

Me: “I know! Don’t they realize that there are people like us out there? So, do you have the recipe now or what?”

Staci: “Yeah, 2 cans of green beans, cream of mushroom soup, soy sauce, milk, and fired onions crisps.”

Me: “That’s it?”

Staci: “Yep.”

Me: “Wow. I can’t believe we had to google that. That’s actually really sad.”

Staci: “Someone put a comment that they are allergic to onions so they used almond slivers instead.”

Me: “I’ll do both. It will make it seem fancier or something.”

Staci: “Cool.”

Me: “Yeah. I better grab this stuff and go because I have been staring at the green beans for like 10 minutes now and people probably think I am a dense. Thanks for helping and being the one person who cooks less than me.”

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Holidays, Random

Me: “Hi my name is Summer and I am a cat lady”

Everyone: “Hi Summer”

I have come to terms that I am a 28 year old cat lady. Most nights, it’s just me and Aurora, 2 peas in a pod… only problem is my other pea is a bitch. Yes, I just called my cat a bitch. I love her dearly, I do! But she is so demanding and grumpy that I don’t know what to do. She hates everybody else but me, which is endearing in a lot of ways but mostly it’s exhausting. I mean I can’t pay attention to her at all times! Blast it all! Cats’ are supposed to be the low maintenance version of a kid! Work with me kitty! Work with me!!!

Loved One(s), Random

It’s time for another installment of Story Time. Gather around and get comfy, cause today is a good one.

Yesterday was a dreary day, all gray and rainy outside. Dreary days make me crave comfort food and the comfort food I had in mind for lunch was pasta. Unfortunately there is not a great selection of Italian places by my work, but I was determined that I would get my comfort carbs.

The first place I tried (Stoneground for my Utah readers) had absolutely NO parking so I left. The second place I went to (Al Fornos) had decided to close early because they were slow. Completely frustrated, but still determined I went to the one place I knew wouldn’t fail me, The Old Spaghetti Factory. Obviously not my first choice, but at this point I would have eaten cardboard.

I get seated and a 20-something male waiter comes to greet me. He takes my order then comes back with my drink. Somewhere along the way he must have decided that he is feeling uber confident because when he returned he had transformed into Rico Suave.

Waiter: “So…how come you’re not married.”

(Men always seem to know to look at your hand first thing before spewing their lines.)

Me: laughing politely “Um…well I was. I got divorced about 3 years ago.”

Waiter: “What happened”

Me: staring at him dumbfounded “Do you always ask your customers if they are married or not or is today just my lucky day?”

He rambles a lame response then asks a few more personal questions, like if I was raised in Utah, what my blood type is and my gross monthly salary. Finally he leaves and comes back with my food.

Waiter: “Did you miss me.”

Me: more laughing politely

A little while later, after checking how my food was about 3 times, I was done and it was time for the obligatory dessert offer.

Waiter: “So, can I interest you in some ice cream?”

Me: “No, I’ll have to pass. Can I just get the check please?”

Waiter: “You have a great figure so I hope that’s not why you are passing.”

Me: “Um, no. Just in a bit of a hurry.”

Waiter: “Anything I can do to make you stay longer?”

Me: “Sorry, gotta get back to work. Check please?”

Mr. Suave swaggers off and returns with the check. He slowly and deliberately reaches across the table to set it down in front of me. Looks me in the eyes with everything he’s got, which to me was a I’m gonna play it cool like I know you want me but really I’m too chicken to just ask you out because I am scared to death you will reject me look.

Waiter: “Come back again, real soon.”

Me: Throwing up in my mouth a little, giggling and plastering on my polite smile “I may just have to do that.”

I wink cause I am mean like that. Sign my credit card receipt and wrote him a note that just said “thanks for making me smile”. Which he did, every time I thought about him I laughed to myself. Silly man, he should have known that if he really wanted to impress me all he had to do was box me up some free dessert. Sweeten the deal, if you know what I mean. Yeah. Free dessert will trump cheesy pickup lines any day in my book.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Random, Story Time

So here is the problem with having a blog, people read it. I know, sounds dumb right? I WANT people to read it, but at the same time, it hinders me from talking about the things that are really on my mind.

A wise woman once told me that blogging is cheaper than therapy. So true, but what good is it if you can’t really say what is on your mind? For example, item one I’d like to talk about is x’s, in particular a recent conversation with one. There is so much I could say, so much I need to get off my chest, but writing about x’s has inadvertently hurt them in the past when they have read my blog. I never meant for it to hurt them, but it did. So now, to avoid that happening again, I CAN’T WRITE ABOUT THEM.

Second…how do I say what it is without saying it? How about I just say, in a very tip toe manner, it has to do with dating and whether or not to accept an invitation (with a much older man)? Shit, that is probably saying too much. But what am I supposed to do? Write about my cat all the time? It is, after all, MY blog. I should be able to say whatever I want. Right? But then there is the whole people having feelings and what not. I mean to the person(s) I am writing, or not writing about, it will be completely obvious that I am talking about them even if the rest of the world has not idea. I guess the problem lies in me caring. I should just learn not to give a crap. That’s the obvious answer here.

Anywho, here is my random rant of a post for the day. Since I am sure this post has not left you feeling uplifted, I’m steal someone else’s profound words…they seemed to help me today anyway.

“Our life’s a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently.”
- Palladas

Here’s to taking it lightly!

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Bag full of complaints, Just me, Random