A long time ago I realized that my tolerance for crazy is steadily becoming more and more limited. I can put up with a lot – I’m a very patient person – but even patient people have a breaking point. When I am pushed to my breaking point I have learned how to say “enough is enough” and sever all ties.

When I say “crazy” I am not referring to that one friend who happens to get drunk and act crazy every once in awhile, or even that friend who always seems to have drama swirling around them. No, I am referring to a person who enters your life who at first seems pretty normal. Sure they are a little quirky, but you think it’s part of their charm. Then slowly they start saying things that make you scratch your head and think “that sounds a little crazy to me”. Next they start telling lies, seeing things that are not there, fabricating stories or coming up with reasoning that only make sense to them. Soon they start freaking out over nothing, starting fights, acting irrational and basically confirming your theory that they are, in fact, certifiably CRAZY. Depending on the severity of crazy, this may or may not come along with war texting, jealousy, dependency, manipulation, name calling followed by profuse apologies, unexpected visits, and overall fear for your safety.

I don’t know how or why crazy people enter my life. Perhaps they are drawn to me because I tend to see the best in everyone and trust people entirely too easily. Over the years I’ve had to distanced myself from a lot of great friends with tremendous hearts who happen to have a huge screw loose in their head. It can be difficult, but I have a “no crazy people allowed” rule that I live by for the sake of my own sanity.

I’ve only come across the above mentioned level of certifiably CRAZY twice, which is exactly two times too many. In fact, it was after I finally rid myself of the first certifiably CRAZY person that I came up with my “no crazy people allowed” rule.

The problem with certifiably CRAZY people is they keep their craziness hidden at first. They seem normal. Then out of the blue, BAM! Crazy sneaks out and you are left wondering if it is a one time occurrence, which they will surely try to convince you it is. I am here to tell you that it is not a one time occurrence. It is just the beginning.

I’m talking to both guys and girls here because crazy comes in all shapes, sizes and genders. They can start out as friends, lovers, training partners, co-workers, etc. You may even think you love them. You may think that they need you. You may think you can fix them.

Stop.

Stop thinking that right now! Cut crazy out while you can still escape sans emotional or physical wounds because that is exactly where it will be headed. Recognize crazy signs early on and don’t ignore them.

Take it from me, I know.

You might be wondering if I’m so smart, how in the world did a second certifiably CRAZY person weasel their way into my life? Don’t I follow my own advice?

Yes. Yes I do.

It took me about a month to realize my new Coach was crazy. It took me another six weeks to realize he qualified as certifiably CRAZY. Now he is cut from my life. It wasn’t easy. It never is! I was called all sorts of names, told that I needed him and would be nothing without him. I was accused of unforgivable crimes. But, I was smart enough to recognize that crazy is crazy and nothing he could call me was actually a reflection of me. His attempts to hurt me emotionally could only go as deep as I would let them. He may have made me strong in the gym, but I am mentally strong enough to realize that I do not need him.

I will never need crazy in my life, and neither do you.

I realize it is not always easy to cut crazy from your life – especially if it’s been there for a long time. Know this: There is no shame in asking for help. Find a way to distance yourself and don’t go back.

Follow my “no crazy people allowed” rule and I guarantee you will have fewer gray hairs, less wrinkles, no stress induced heartburn and be more successful in your career and in bed.*

Blogfully yours,

Summer

*No real guarantee guaranteed. But I do believe in my heart of hearts positive energy breeds more positive energy. Crazy people will drain you. They will take all of your energy – both positive and negative. Don’t allow it to happen. Use your positive energy to improve your life and the lives of your family and friends. Your true friends, not the crazy ones.

Coach, Lessons Learned, sometimes I get on a soap box, Summer School

2011 was a very tumultuous year filled with several ups and a very steep down. I started out the year with a lot of snowshoeing and took a very wet trip to Zion’s National Park. Then, in early spring, I met my boyfriend Cute who, by the way, still is not a fan of his Internet name (so if you see him, by all means, call him by it).  In early June I backpacked through the Grand Canyon, something I am still amazed at myself for doing. I spent the summer very carefree with lazy Sundays by the pool and weekend hiking trips with Cute. In August I backpacked in the Uinta Mountains and in September I hiked Mount Olympus. Both adventures took my breath away, only in completely different ways. After that I spent 10 days in Mexico traveling from Guadelejara and Puerto Villarta with the most amazing Mexican family in the world (I never got around to blogging about it, but you can see pictures of me looking tan and happy here). When I returned from Mexico, my year of ups took on a new direction. Within the span of two weeks I moved in with Cute, was laid off from a job I loved, and found out that my mother had breast cancer. My world felt like it was a snow globe that a three year old got a hold of. On one hand being laid off was a blessing because I had more time to spend with my family (which is exactly what I did). On the other it left me with insecurities and questions of my worth. I struggled to accept that I am more than my career, that what I do for money does not define me as a person, all while wondering daily if my mother’s treatment plan would be successful and trying to let go of not having my own place – a place where no one see me cry or drink too much while watching junk TV.

It was hard times, y’all!

Then, as quickly as the snow globe storm rolled in, it was over. Well, not over over, but better. My mother’s mastectomy was hugely successful. She is now cancer free. Cute and I settled into a rhythm of cohabitation that works well for us. I am still technically without a job, but the things 2012 has in store for me are nothing short of life changing.

My love for myself, my family, and my relationships has grown more than I knew was possible. I see life with a strange new set of eyes now. I don’t want to take anything or anyone for granted. Almost losing a loved one, coupled with no longer being able to afford the lifestyle you’ve grown accustom to, will do that to ya.

I suppose looking back now, that 2011 was actually a great year for personal growth. Now that it’s over, I can say I’m thrilled to be moving on to a year with a little less growing pains.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Just me, Lessons Learned

Family reunions.

What can I say? They happen. Ours happens once a year. This year’s happened to land on the day I got back from the Grand Canyon. I literally got home, showered, primped, and drove straight to the reunion.

Did I feel like going? No, not exactly. I hadn’t gotten a good nights sleep in over a week. I was emotionally and physically exhausted.

But, I couldn’t miss it.

Seriously. Could. Not.

Why?

Family pictures.

After sitting through pictures with the entire extended family, immediate family, and a sister photo, I watched as one by one all of my cousins and siblings got their photos taken with their families.

I am the only one without a spouse or child.

This used to bother me.

To tell the truth, sometimes it still does.

But life is what it is and I love my life so when the photographer asked if there were any more pictures that needed to be taken, I walked up to her and said, “Yes…me. Just me.”

Maybe it was my new found courage from surviving the Grand Canyon or maybe I am finally comfortable in my own skin.

Either way, I am proud to be my own family of one.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Just me, Lessons Learned

In April, I had the pleasure of meeting and touring the state with one of the most amazing women I have ever met, Terrie Hall. I should preface by saying that it was my job as an advertising account executive for our state’s anti-tobacco account, to help recruit her, pay her, and take her around the state to spread the word of the dangers of using tobacco to teenage kids. However, I never, in a million year, expected how much I would grow to absolutely love this woman.

Terrie is a Laryngectomee (you can’t even imagine how long it has taken me to remember the correct way to spell that). Meaning Terrie had to have her voice box removed due to cancer. Cancer caused from smoking.

Terrie now speaks with the aide of a voice prosthesis.

When I met Terrie at the airport for the first time we hugged. After six months of planning it felt like we already knew each other. She had asked me in one of her emails what she should pack. I replied to pack as much as she wanted and we would sort through it together when she got here. When I went to grab her bags I quickly found out that she took me up on my offer.

Not being used to large luggage and having never spent any time with someone who has a physical handicap, I decided that we should just muscle the two 50lb bags, carry on, and laptop bag to the car.

I know. I’m an insensitive jerk, right?

We hadn’t gone more than 20 feet and poor Terrie was out of breath. I can’t even tell you how horribly embarrassed I was. But Terrie, after catching her breath and seeing my look of panic, just smiled at me sweetly and said, “Just another day in the life of a Laryngectomee. Do you think we can get one of those baggage cart things?”

Our first stop after leaving the airport was to pick up my counterpart on the anti-tobacco account, Adam (or Mr. Bramwell as I like to call him). Not being under any tight time constraints to drive to our first destination of Price Utah, we stopped for lunch.

Adam and I had a million questions for Terrie and she told us that we had her permission to ask her anything we wanted. Throughout the next five days I found out Terrie’s life story, one amazing story after another. But it was at that first lunch together that I found out something that would change me forever. Terrie told us she had something she wanted us to know. The doctors found three more areas of cancer in her body and she was going in to find out what the treatment regime was going to be the day after she returned from her trip to Utah.

Terrie is a ten time cancer survivor already. Ten. TEN!

How in the name of all that is right in the world could this woman who I had already fallen in love with in less than an hour, possibly be subjected to more cancer?

I cried.

She told us that she didn’t mention it to us before because she didn’t want us to think she wasn’t well enough to come out here.

Terrie is tough as nails.

Then she told us that it was okay because she was lucky. They caught it early and she has really good doctors and it will probably just be more chemo, but not the really bad type, she normally doesn’t loose her hair, just her eye lashes, sometimes.

She said all of this with a straight face and 100% sincerity. That is the type of person Terrie is. The most amazing optimist that ever existed in the history of the world. Ever.

Outside of touring the state giving presentations to Jr High and High Schools, our secondary purpose for bringing Terrie from her home in North Carolina to Utah was to film her for both an ad campaign and the creation of an educational DVD. I work in advertising as I said, but I am on the planning/strategy/client relations/management of projects side of things. So when my agencies creative director asked me if I would be the one to interview Terrie, it was a huge honor on multiple levels.

When I told Terrie that I would be the one to interview her she was both excited and relieved. I asked her if she wouldn’t mind discussing some of the questions over dinner with a glass (or two) of wine. It was just the two of us and I have to say it was one of my favorite nights. I had my exclusive one on one with a woman who daily continued to blow me away with her strength, personality, ginormous heart, gumption and love. She made me cry, again, and I fell even more in love with her.

And that was just my second night with her.

In the five and a half days Terrie was here she spoke at eleven schools, was featured on every local TV news channel, local newspapers, and was on “Good Things Utah,” one of our early morning talk shows, and in between that she was filmed, photographed, and adored by all. Through it all she never once complained. Never once acted put out or tired. She was a trooper. Her energy kept me going.

At one of the photo shoots I asked the photographer to take a picture of the three of us. I was able to get it printed and framed to give to her as a surprise goodbye gift.

When it came time to say goodbye I was devastated. I’m not going to lie, I was a blubbering fool walking her to the check-point at the airport. I didn’t want my new friend to leave. Work had never been so much fun and I have never been so uplifted by one person. I didn’t know I could form a bond with someone so quickly and I didn’t want our time together to end.

Terrie text me from the plane, from her layover stop, and finally when she got home.

We continue to text daily. She asks me about my dates and rubs it in my face that it is sunny and 80+ degrees in North Carolina while it is still snowing here in Utah. I ask her about her daughters wedding and we laugh together through the distance.

I miss her incredibly but I am so proud of the work we were able to accomplish in her short time here. After every school presentation she gave, dozens of kids would come up to her and to give her a hug or tell her how much her story had impacted them. And now we have a whole campaign and will be able to share her story with even more of the world.

Filming was emotional. It effected all of us, from the camera, lights, sound, make-up and production crew to, of course, our star Terrie. Here is the 30 second television commercial.

Terrie Hall 30 sec TV

Want to see more?

You can view all of  Terrie’s TV commercials on our TRUTH Against Tobacco YouTube channel.

You can view her full presentation from the TRUTH Against Tobacco website.

And you can view the rest of some of my pictures with Terrie from my Flickr account.

One last thing, before taking Terrie to the airport, I HAD to take her to my favorite place – the mountains. She shared so much beauty with me, I felt it was only fair to share some back.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Lessons Learned, Loved One(s), Story Time

I know this is going to sound a little odd, but I freaking love spending time working on The Farm.

Seriously.

Of course by “The Farm,” I mean the farm ED grew up on and that by default I get invited to. I’d like to say it’s because of my sparkling personality, which is probably taken into account, but it is also because of my willingness to help out.

Which I totally do.

Except this time I forgot my work jeans. ED informed me that I should always, always, ALWAYS plan on having work jeans with me each time I go down there (that’s what she said… heheheh).

Step One

Step two

Step three

That?

Well, that’s pretty much it.

The night after baling hay, eat lots of carbs, drink whiskey, play cards and sleep soundly. After all, you freaking deserve it.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

PS – more pictures of the farm/baling adventure can be seen HERE.

Lessons Learned

The other night I went to visit my dear father. Due to recent knee replacement surgery, he was heavily medicated. When he was able to get audible sentences out, he was hilarious!

My adorable niece was also there and wanted to be a part of the action. However, her patience with grown-up conversations started to dwindle. She tried to get attention using every four-year-old trick in the handbook. We would appease her for a minute and then go back to our conversation. Soon she gave up…  or so we thought.

She disappeared into the other room, and when she returned she was wearing this:

When she walked out in her finest gown with smeared, red lipstick on her face, I had to laugh. It’s no wonder women get all dolled up before they leave the house. We learn at a very young age that it gets us attention. Even my Dad, in his drugged up state, took the time to tell her how cute she looked.

I’m not saying this is good or bad, just that it finally makes sense to me. I get ready before I leave the house because I like to feel pretty. I don’t need anyone to validate me or give me attention like my adorable niece does — I do that for myself. My outfits are typically a notch or two more low key than hers was, but I do feel better about myself when I look made up and yes, sometimes my confidence comes from an extra coat of mascara and a little lipstick.

It’s my fail proof pick-me-up.

Well that, or having my Dad tell me I look nice.

OK, so maybe I haven’t grown up so much after all.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Lessons Learned, Uncategorized

Step 1. Find a time and location that works for both of you where there will be minimal distractions.

Step 2. Make sure there is plenty of wine and/or vodka.

Step 3. Upon seeing each other for the first time in over a week, hug until you can not breath.

Step 4. Cry.

Step 5. Pour two glasses of wine to the brim and make sandwiches.

Step 6. Put children to bed, pour second glasses of wine and sit on couches holding pillows.

Step 7. Have “the talk”. Apologize, accept responsibility, come up with a plan to never fight again and promise to prioritize your friendship.

Step 8. Cry some more. Hug some more. Top off wine glasses.

Step 9. Watch three episodes of Weeds. Compare the characters to people you actually know.

Step 10. Pause weeds. Microwave home waxing kit. Wax each others eyebrows and peach fuzz. Laugh at how ridiculous you both look in the mirror.

Step 11. Text boyfriend to let him know you got your best friend back but you are missing an eyebrow. Laugh hysterically when he believes you.

Step 12. Realize the time. Hug again, say goodbye and I love you. Text when arriving home safely. Finally sleep through the night.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

K to the R stories, Lessons Learned

Recently I read an essay about whether college students—the ones who are straight out of high school—are considered adults or children.

I think they are neither.

In the essay (“Campus Climate Control” in case you are curious), the author mainly debates the needs for a balance between no adult supervision and an overly dominate presence on campus. I’m not particularly interested in that part and I can’t speak to what campus life is like. What I can share are my own feelings of going through that child-not-yet-adult stage.

I remember very clearly the strange transition from being under my parent’s ever present watch and guidance to being on my own to make my own decisions. All of a sudden I was working a full time job. I had credit cards and a lease on an apartment. I was completely dumbfounded by the amount of responsibility that was seemingly handed to me overnight. I kept thinking ‘when are these people going to realize I have no idea what I am doing?’

I was still a teenager but I had utility bills and a car lease in my name! Soon it became almost a  game of sorts to see just how many people would extend credit to me. After a while I had credit cards (and bills) for every major department and retail store in town. I had no one to tell me to be careful or to watch what I was doing, so I took the feeling of freedom and the high I got from buying whatever I wanted and I ran with it!

Before I knew it my monthly bills were leaving me with no discretionary income. I was grocery shopping in my parents kitchen (something I still do from time to time) and using my credit card (that wasn’t at its limit) to buy gas for my car.

Outside of bills, I had no one to remind me how important it was to wake up and go to class because education actually is important, so I dropped out—a mistake I would realize ten years later.

At the time I would tell you that I had everything under control and I knew what I was doing, but truth be told I was scared out of my mind! I kept waiting to feel like an adult, but most of the time I felt like a kid dressing up in her moms clothes.

It was a weird scary place to be that’s for sure, one that I am so glad I do not live in anymore. Not that this next stage of NOT being asked for ID when you go to the liquor store is so great or anything. I’m just saying it’s nice to finally know what I am doing.  It’s nice to not be in the “neither” stage. It’s nice to be… an adult?

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Just me, Lessons Learned, Story Time

Sometimes dating a man who does professional fitness for a living is a real pain. He goes around using “technical terms” and “facts” and completely ignores a little thing I like to call logic.

Me: “So I ate 6 cookies before coming to the gym tonight.”

ED: “Six cookies! Why?”

Me: “Because I needed a snack and I knew that our work out tonight would cancel them out. That’s how it works. I’m surprised you didn’t know that. Plus I had milk, which is healthy, so, you know, that helps too.”

ED: “Sweetheart, that is not exactly how it works.”

Me: “Um, yeah it is.”

***

Yesterday my amazing friends Sarah and Susan responded to my plea for relief from the bondage of homework. We met up at the Utah Arts Festival and even though they chose not to share the dress code with me (bitches) it was exactly the break I needed.

And wouldn’t you know, they share the same brilliant logic as me!

We figured the calories from the wine, beer, pizza, hot dogs, ice cream and fries we collectively consumed all didn’t count. You see, when you are at an outdoor festival or event nothing counts because they are so few and far between that it’s practically a crime NOT to take full advantage. Plus we were out in the hot sun sweating out any pesky calories that may have gotten into our food. Also, should there have been any calories, we were totally covered because we all pretty much skipped breakfast but still managed to do individual morning workouts.

So, yeah, a day of no calorie guilt with my girls! How sweet is that?

Oh and the best part is, as an added bonus for me, Sarah and Susan both agreed that the fact I worked out on a Saturday night counts as double calorie canceling points. So in reality, I’m like way ahead in this whole calorie canceling game and can eat 6 more cookies today!

Psshh! Fitness coach my ass. I should write a book on this stuff.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Lessons Learned, sometimes I get on a soap box

Did you know that holding stress inside for prolonged periods of time can make you physically ill? True story. In fact, it can make you so sick that you have to give up the things you love in order to get better – doctors orders!

I had written a post over the weekend (that I chose not to post) titled “Some Stories Are Not Meant To Be Told”. It was basically about holding painful memories back and how it is probably the “right” thing to do.

Apparently… I was wrong.

I am now on a “bland” food diet until I get my “stress/gut symptoms” back under control. That means no spicy food, no acidic food, no greasy food, no chocolate, no alcohol, oh and no coffee or soda! Yeah, so basically what I am telling you is that holding stress inside has ruined my life… at least for the next week or so.

I highly recommend you find ways to communicate your stress, maybe see a counselor or hit a punching bag, that you will not end up like me – sober and eating oatmeal.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Bag full of complaints, Lessons Learned