Did you know Kevlar comes in pink?

I’m off to the country to spend Thanksgiving with ED’s family this year. This will be my first Thanksgiving away from my family. Ever. It will also be the first time in 10 plus years I have missed the crazy 5am madness that is “Black Friday” shopping.

I’m not sure which makes me more sad.

The other night, while planning the details of our little holiday trip, ED asked me if I would like to shoot guns while we are there. I told him hell yeah I want to shoot guns while we are there! but secretly, between you and me, I’m kinda scared shitless of guns. I’m not really sure why either. My dad took me shooting a few times when I was like 12, but I haven’t so much as seen, yet alone shot one, since then. But, I’m a bad ass and a great big liar and it’s kind of a big deal to him so I stuck with bring on the guns!

The next morning I woke from a dream where I had shot myself in the stomach and was bleeding to death on my family room floor. Awesome, right? I’m not feeling so much like a bad ass now. I’m feeling like my little secret of being irrationally scared shitless of guns should probably be shared with ED before I end up inadvertently shooting myself in the foot and, since the closest hospital is like a bazillion hours away, really do bleed to death!

I am probably the sissy-est country boy’s girlfriend in the history of country boy girlfriends. But it is not for lack of trying! I can’t help my dreams!

Luckily, “clairvoyant” is not on my list of talents/skills, so I am pretty sure I’ll be safe. But just in case, I want you all to know I love you and to have a very happy (and safe!) Thanksgiving!

Gobble gobble.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

ED is not Emotionally Disturbed, Holidays

Now I remember why I haven’t worn these shoes in almost a year.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! May your day be filled with the luck of the Irish and may your shoes not be 4 inch heels that are half a size too small.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Holidays

Much like Christmas, Karina the Russian was my date for New Years Eve this year. We went out, we caused a scene, we took pictures! Enjoy!

In reality we are just a bunch of nerds. Sometimes we even catch ourselves on film in all our nerdy-ness. This was the getting ready pre-party at Karina’s pad.

It only took 2 1/2 hours of getting ready, but this was my end result.

Happy New Years! I hope it was great for everyone.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Holidays, Out and About

My favorite part of throwing Christmas parties is getting to spent time with friends. My second favorite part of throwing Christmas parties, is leftovers. I had so much food and booze left over from my Tacky Christmas Party that I invited a few friends over the following night to prevent me from eating a whole plate of 7 layer dip by myself.
My small leftover party ended up being a lot of fun. Midway through the night, we decided to change the theme of this party into a pajama party. Which basically means take your bra off and get comfortable. I am proud to report that I have the best time for removing my bra out from under my clothes. Like, 5 seconds flat! Freedom!

I’m not quite sure why we decided my tree needed more decorations, but I think stiletto heels (or “hills” as Karina calls them) and bras made a nice addition.

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you have the “breastest” one ever!

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Holidays, Loved One(s)

I am “officially” in a relationship with my BFF Karina the Russian. I suppose it was only a matter of time. I can’t even tell you how many times we have been asked if we are “more than friends.” Well now, thanks to the postal service, there is proof that we are in fact “more than friends.”

Our first piece of mail together! To my family Christmas party no less! I was worried they wouldn’t accept my new relationship… I am so happy to see them embracing it with open arms! Maybe it has something to do with the fact that even though we are “officially” in a relationship, we still are not lesbians. That’s probably helping with the whole acceptance part. Honestly I think it would be great if we were lesbians, we already make such a cute couple and all. But, sadly, we are both big of fans of the penis so until the penis fairy comes around we are content to have our non-lesbian, best friends relationship.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Holidays, K to the R stories

This year I let Christmas take over my tiny 1 bedroom apartment. Instantly I started regretting getting so festive once I realized that the only people who would be seeing my festive bachelorette pad, would be me and my cat. My simple remedy?
Throw a party.
Nothing big, just a few of my closest girlfriends. My place is tiny, any more than 8 – 10 would have been uncomfortable anyway. I chose a theme, which was inspired by my Mother.

Behold the tacky Christmas sweaters in all their glory!




Of course to thank my mother for letting us borrow a few of her sweaters, my sister and I took this picture which we printed out and framed for her.

I’m pretty sure my Mom thinks it was a giant party to mock her, but it wasn’t! In fact, someone wanting to be like you is the biggest form of a complement. So that makes us saintly daughters. You’re welcome Mom!

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Holidays, Loved One(s)

Summer

Holidays, K to the R stories, Story Time

First of all let me say a great big “THANK YOU”! I have been overwhelmed by the amazing amount of support, sympathy and condolences I have received. I suppose that death and grieving is something that just about everyone can relate to. Thanks for helping me feel less alone.

Tonight I decided to pull out all of my Christmas decorations. My mother is very big on decorating for the holidays and I suppose it is something she passed on to me. I don’t go crazy for every holiday (although I do have decorations for all of them), but I do for Christmas. This year however, decorating took a horrible turn for the worse.

I opened up the first of my 5 large boxes of Christmas decorations. Sitting on the top, laid out next to each other waiting to be discovered were the stockings that my x-boyfriend and I made with love last year for Christmas. I broke up with him 3 weeks after Christmas. So of course I need to burn them or at very least toss them into the dumpster right? The evil part of me considered mailing my “x” his stocking back… Actually I am still considering it…

The part that upsets me most about seeing the stupid stockings is that it is complete dejavu. Last Christmas when I was pulling out decorations the same thing happened only with a different “x”, but it was worse because it wasn’t just his stocking, it was his AND his 2 daughters stockings! Damn. I loved those kids.

Seriously internet people, I am unlucky in love! Maybe I was wrong. Maybe single for the holidays IS the way to go. Who knows, the way things are looking, single forever looks like the way to go. Only buying presents for family, friends and myself, that’s not so bad. Having only a stocking for myself and my cat – very do-able. And next year when I pull the decorations out I won’t have this problem.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Holidays, Just me

Me: “Hi Stac. So I’m at the store and my Thanksgiving assignment is to make a Green Bean Casserole.”

Staci: “Ha ha! You have to cook!”

Me: “Yeah and I am in charge of bringing the coffee too. Don’t worry, I’m bringing the real stuff. None of the decaf crap. It’s one of the 2 times a year that the family will break the word of wisdom and I plan to take full advantage. Oh, and I got the yummy creamer too! Anyway, I came strait to the store from class and I don’t have a recipe for the casserole.”

Staci: “So…um…why are you calling me?”

Me: “Because you are such an amazing cook! Ha! Kidding. You live with Mom and Dad and can get the recipe for me.”

Staci: “Oh. Do you know where the recipe box is?”

Me: “YOU LIVE THERE! How would I know where it is? I guess the other option would be for you to jump online and google the recipe then text it to me or call me back with it.”

Staci: “Yeah, I could do that. Hold on.”

Me: “Holding. I can’t believe that they don’t have the recipe on the back of the cans of green beans. I was kind of counting on that but NONE of the cans, and I checked them all, had the recipe. I mean, what the hell?”

Staci: “The nerv.”

Me: “I know! Don’t they realize that there are people like us out there? So, do you have the recipe now or what?”

Staci: “Yeah, 2 cans of green beans, cream of mushroom soup, soy sauce, milk, and fired onions crisps.”

Me: “That’s it?”

Staci: “Yep.”

Me: “Wow. I can’t believe we had to google that. That’s actually really sad.”

Staci: “Someone put a comment that they are allergic to onions so they used almond slivers instead.”

Me: “I’ll do both. It will make it seem fancier or something.”

Staci: “Cool.”

Me: “Yeah. I better grab this stuff and go because I have been staring at the green beans for like 10 minutes now and people probably think I am a dense. Thanks for helping and being the one person who cooks less than me.”

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Holidays, Random