My  older sister Sara got married last Saturday. If her bachelorette party was supposed to serve as an indicator as to what the wedding was to be like, it missed the mark. Then again, there is not really much that could have prepared me for this.

I find myself at a slight loss for words when thinking of how to describe the wedding, mainly because so much of it I did not understand. For example, why was the minister dressed in a white robe and a Chinese hat?

Why did the groom have a sword and LED lights sewn into his tuxedo?

Why is there a woman dressed in green tights and a pink tutu?

While I was left confused in some areas, I was in awe in others.

The wedding guests, which was a mixture of my conservative, garment-wearing relatives and the free spirited friends of the happy couple, all sat in a large circle. A mixture of tattoos, mo-hawks and costumes with an intermittent splash of confused, slightly uncomfortable individuals.

I watched as the minister went to the 4 directional tables set up around the circle and explained the significance of the earth, fire, water and air and how they relate to marriage.

Then music started and the groom, Rob, joined by my sister, the beautiful bride, danced their way into the circle. I didn’t recognize the song, but it was definitely not “Here Comes the Bride”, it was a million times better because it was a song that had significant meaning to them as a couple. The song was called Bliss, by Syntax.

I had not seen my sister in her custom sewn dress and she looked stunning!

They made their way to the center of the circle with a Yin and Yang in hand in what seemed to be the joining of their new union.

But this was not to be the end. They were sent on a mission to each of the 4 directional tables where they recited vows they had written and were slowly joined by their 6 children.

It was beautiful. There was so much symbolism in every aspect of the wedding. The amount of time and effort put into this blew me away. There was nothing traditional about this union, but they are far from a traditional couple.

Of course I cried, how could I not? My sister was the shining star of a production where the amount of love she and Rob have for each other overshadowed any raised eyebrows or sideways glances. They stayed true to who they are as individuals and as a couple. They simply said join us in our bizarre celebration of love, or don’t, we will cherish each other deeply either way.

At the end of the ceremony, after tying a symbolic knot made up of strings collected from each of the 4 directional tables and the kiss that sealed the deal, they started the music again and in the most fitting of manners, invited everyone to dance out with them.

Congrats Sara and Rob! I love you both and couldn’t be happier for you! I wish you all the blessings and joy that life has to offer you.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

***

Today is birthday of my biggest fan and an amazingly strong woman who has been there my entire life. In fact, without her I wouldn’t exist.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA!!!

Emotions get the best of me, Loved One(s)

After much talk and many anxiety attacks, the new and improved Blogfully Yours is here!

I’m thrilled to pieces you have stopped by to check it out! Stay a while, make yourself at home.

Like most things in life, this is a work in progress — ever changing and evolving. But I can’t help but be impressed at how far this novice, technology-challenged blogger and blog have come. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry *sniff sniff* but I am, in fact, proud.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

PS- regular posting will resume on Monday.

Emotions get the best of me, blogging

It’s silly I know, but my little blog really means a lot to me. What started out as a hobby and fun way to keep friends and family updated on my life, has become an accomplishment of sorts that I am actually proud of.

I started blogging just over a year ago. My very first post was called “The world is your oyster”, a brutally honest raw exposure of myself. I didn’t have a name or an identity to my blog then, and truthfully I had no idea what I was doing, I just knew I wanted to write.

A large part of my inspiration for going back to college was this blog. I knew I had ideas and stories I wanted to share, but I also knew from a technical standpoint my writing left a lot to be desired. So last summer, I walked into the Salt Lake Community College, 2 weeks before classes were scheduled to start, and enrolled. Again, I had no idea what I was doing. No game plan. I just knew it was where I needed to be.

Sitting here reflecting, feet propped up on a chair – laptop warm in my lap, it’s fun to think of some of the highlights my silly little blog has brought me.

- I remember the first time I got a comment from a blogger I, for lack of a better work, idolized. People like Caveat Emptor, Black Hockey Jesus and the amazing Jenny the Bloggess. It may seem silly, but it totally made my day to think that something, however small and trivial, in my blog sparked their interest enough to visit AND leave a comment.

- I remember coming up with the name for my blog and asking my friend and blogging mentor Sarah what she thought of it. “Honestly I think it’s fucking brilliant and wish I would have come up with it.” A better compliment has never existed. She helped me register the domain name and set things up.

- I remember getting approved to have ads on my blog through the BlogHer network. It only took 6 months of having them, but I got my first check too. I celebrated by going to coffee with Sarah just this last weekend.

- As it turns out the whole being a student and a blogger really worked out in my favor recently too. I am headed to the BlogHer convention in Chicago in a little over 3 weeks. Truthfully there is no way I could have afforded it without the discounted student rate and I am so happy they offer one. I’ll try not to cuss when I pay next months tuition now.

- Last but certainly not least (cliche much?), the highlight of my evening. Getting mentioned on the “Here is the good news happening around our GiST network” email for finally getting the balls to get the tattoo I have been talking about for over 2 years. Seriously, how cool is that?

I know I am rambling on a bit and a lot of these things may not seem like a big deal, but I am a firm believer it’s the little things in life that count and you should celebrate ALL victories.

Thanks lovely Internet for giving me more reasons to celebrate! Oh, and the local wine store says thanks too.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Emotions get the best of me, Grace in Small Things, Nerdom

ED and I went on our first ever double date. It was us and ED’s best friend and his wife. We went to dinner and after we went to Poplar Street to watch a blues band play called Blues 66. They were absolutely amazing. We ended the night around 10:30 because the other couple has children and babysitters to attend to. 

Dating debating, Emotions get the best of me, Loved One(s)

Lately I’ve been distant. It’s not just from you, it’s been from everyone. I suppose I just let all of life’s stresses catch up to me. I was getting pulled in a million different directions and something had to give.

My sanity.

Talking to ED last night he tells me, “Sweetheart, I just feel like all of your emotions are very raw right now.” He is trying so hard to be patient and understanding with me when he is probably wondering how in the world his girlfriend went from happy and fun to an emotional wreck. But still, he claims to love me and I choose to believe him.

Today I am happy to report that while I am not better, I have decided to make the conscience decision to be happy, healthy, positive and productive. I’m taking The Secrets approach which is a kind of a “fake it til you make it” approach. I’m going to keep telling myself that I am happy, healthy, positive and productive until it is the truth. Over and over, that is what I am telling myself. So if you walk up to me and I scream “I AM HAPPY, HEALTHY, POSITIVE AND PRODUCTIVE!” Please do not be alarmed, I’m just in the middle of healing myself.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Emotions get the best of me, NOT light and fluffy

Summer

Emotions get the best of me, Just me, Lessons Learned

Dating debating, Emotions get the best of me, Out and About

Last night I met up for a drink with an old friend that I hadn’t seen or heard from in 2 1/2 years. I think he moved to another planet or something. It was funny because even though so much time had passed, we still remembered how good of friends we used to be. The part that wasn’t funny, in fact quite the opposite, was recounting what has gone on in my life over the past 2 1/2 years.

At first I had no intention of sharing any part of my sob story with my long lost friend, but warm kind eyes and an attentive caring listening ear allowed me to let my guard down enough to talk about things that only my closest friends and family know. I shook a little telling parts of my story, I hope he didn’t notice, but at the end of it all when I knew no more details were required, my friend looked me in the eyes and said, “I am so sorry. I wish I could have been there for you.”

Without hesitation I responded, “I don’t. You wouldn’t have even recognized me back then, I was a shell of who I am today. You couldn’t have been there for me – I wouldn’t have let you in. You couldn’t have saved me – I had to save myself. I am the strong healthy happy independent woman that I am today because I learned how to be alone. Accepting that I am OK on my own, making myself happy, those were challenges that I had to overcome on my own. I’m grateful that we are becoming friends again today because I am better now than I have ever been.”

2008 has been a fabulous year for me. I traveled a lot with friends and even made it outside of the country for the first time. I started back to school after a 10 year hiatus and have generally remained busy happy and productive. In fact, I even paid off my car this year! That’s right, I OWN my car for the first time in my life! All things considered, my life is pretty damn good.

Here’s to an even better 2009!

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Emotions get the best of me, Just me, Lessons Learned

Originally I had planned to write a post about my crazy 4 AM “Black Friday” shopping experience complete with pictures of my friend Jenn and I all bundled up waiting in a line that wrapped around the building.

That experience didn’t end up happening.

Friday morning I received a text from Jenn at 4 AM saying that she wasn’t going to make it shopping because she was sick. I was actually VERY relieved because I didn’t sleep well plus I was sick myself.

I spent the morning working on homework and then decided that I better drive myself to the InstaCare to make sure I don’t have strep throat. While driving there I called my Dad to see if he would be home later so I could pick up my Christmas tree from his basement and would he be kind enough to carry it up to my car and are there still leftovers at the house? He let me ramble on with all my trivial questions and when he was quite sure I was done he cleared his throat and began.

“Summer I received a frantic message from your Grandmother this morning. I was at the temple so I called her back as soon as I got home, I actually just got off the phone with her when you called. There is no easy way to say this, but your Grandpa Hom died this morning.”

I swear my heart stopped beating. Instantly I started to cry as my Dad told me all of the details that he had found out. This was my Dad’s father and I by sheer chance was the first person he was telling. He hadn’t even had a chance to process things for himself, hadn’t even had a chance to tell my mother or even change out of his church clothes.

I rushed over to my parents house to see what I could do to help. My Dad hadn’t eaten so I made him some food. He was coughing up a lung so I after my Mother and Sister got home to look after the phones, I took my Dad to the InstaCare where we found out he had Bronchitis and I have a strain of Strep. While sitting in the InstaCare waiting room my Dad started to write his fathers obituary. He turned to me and said “You know it’s funny because I get to something I don’t know and my first thought is I’ll just call him up and ask. But I can’t call him up anymore.”

It breaks my heart to see my father like this. I am sad for my loss of a grandfather, but sadder for the loss of my father’s father. My grandpa was 89 years old. He died peacefully.

Please forgive me if my posts are not updated as often as I normally try to do. I will be busy and distracted. I am trying to keep it together and stay strong for my family in the midst of semester projects and finals. This next week will be a challenging one.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Emotions get the best of me

The time of year that all single women dread is coming up; “The Holidays.”

I dwelled on this thought a little too long this weekend. I let my mind wander to the huge family Thanksgiving dinner as well as the Christmas celebrations with all of my relatives. The thought of being the only single one there, while my sisters and cousins all chase around their kids, makes me want to stay home and pull my fingernails out instead. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my family. I just don’t know if I have the energy to fake a smile and say the obligatory lines of “yep, still single. No, not really seeing anyone either. Yes, one day I’m sure I will find him. Yes, I realize I’m not getting any younger. Here is some salt, can you please rub it in this open sore?” Smile and repeat with the next well intentioned relative who is just trying to be nice.

Then there are all of the work related parties and New Years. New Years! I haven’t been single on New Years in over 10 years! Somebody shoot me now!

Of course I called up Karina The Russian to listen to me bitch.

Karina: “Summer, Christmas is not about being with someone with a cock and balls! It’s about being with someone you love. I will be your date! You don’t need a stupid man!”

Me: “Yeah but you are dating someone now so you are going to want to spend the holidays with him. Which I totally understand.”

Karina: “No, he is not my family. YOU are my family. We will make cookies and drink wine and sit by the Christmas tree and stare at the beautiful lights!”

While I was fishing for sympathy, I also told Sarah how I woke up feeling really low. She told me next time I felt that way to drive over, climb in bed with her and we would watch movies and drink wine in bed.

Basically I’ve decided to quit bitching for the time being because really I’m incredibly blessed to have such amazing, beautiful, understanding, supportive friends who are always there. They get me. They understand that wine and friendship can get you through anything, including the holidays.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Emotions get the best of me, K to the R stories, Loved One(s)