My boyfriend ED is ridiculously strong. I’m talking Incredible Hulk strong, or at least he seems that way to me. Obviously this means that any chance I have to call him a sissy, is one I do not hesitate to act on.

Saturday night after our exciting night of working out together, getting Indian food (curry not campfire) and fighting for 30 minutes in Blockbuster over which movie to rent, ED gave me the perfect opportunity to challenge his strength.

We were home, and had just gotten into our movie watching clothes, when he started to complain about having sore legs from a workout a few days earlier.

Wimp.

ED: I don’t think you understand, I was squatting more than double what you weigh!

Me: Psssh! You couldn’t squat me.

At which point ED picked me up, put me over his shoulders and proceeded to prove me wrong by doing not only deep squats, but lunges as well. WITH ME ON HIS SHOULDERS laughing uncontrollably.

ED: I could probably bench press you too.

Me: No way. For one thing I couldn’t hold still enough for you to lift me because I’d be having a giggle fit and would probably fall on your face and break your nose.

ED: Giggle fit?

Me: What?

ED: Just adding another reason to the list.

Me: The list of why I am so awesome?

ED: No, the list of things you never grew out of.

He has me there. I do have a pretty long list of things I’ve never grown out of, but it is also a list of things I never want to grow out of.

Giggle fits, playing in makeup for hours, finding magic in the first snow fall, wanting to discover the end of a rainbow, and being the first to jump into any large body of water – just a few of the things I never, ever, want to grow out of.

What about you? What’s on your list of things you never want to grow out of?

Blogfully yours,

Summer

ED is not Emotionally Disturbed

The past two Valentines days have come early for me. ED and I celebrate Valentines the weekend before because I go hiking the weekend of… without him.

I think my friend Sarah put it best when ED was pretending to pout about me being gone over Valentines Day. Sarah simply stated, “Summer’s  had hiking a lot longer than she’s had you. Sorry.”  (I freaking love that girl)

Not that he minds, quite the opposite really. We are able to get reservations and avoid the love bird crowds. What’s not to love?

This year we had a lovely dinner at Martine’s and went to a show called “Avenue Q”. For those of you not familiar with Avenue Q, it is pretty much Sesame Street for adults.

It’s filled with irreverent humor, underlying social issues and songs such as, “The Internet is for porn,” “Everyone’s a little bit racist,” and “If you were gay.”

To say it was hilarious is an understatement. Would I recommend it to any of my friends? ABSOLUTELY!

Would I recommend it to any of my Mormon relatives? Let’s just say during the scene where the puppets were having sex on stage while Gary Coleman sang “you can be as loud as the hell you want when you’re making love,” the audience lost a few members. So, no, I would not recommend it to anyone easily offended.

After the show was over, I was remarking to ED how I thought the crowd at the theater was easily 20 years older than the crowd at the concert I went to last weekend. Can you believe he had the audacity to point out to me – ON OUR VALENTINES DAY DATE – that I am actually closer in age to the average theater goer than I was to the “alcohol free” concert crowd!

THE NERVE!

That is, until I realized he was right.

Damn. I hate when he is right.

Here’s wishing that all of your Valentines dates — whatever you do and whoever you spend it with — are filled with many laughs and someone who makes you feel, ahem,  younger.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

ED is not Emotionally Disturbed, Out and About

I realize I am probably the last person to get around to posting about New Years, but here it is anyway.

For New Years, ED and I decided to host a little get together with a few of our closest friends. It was thrown together at the last minute, but somehow we were able to pull off one of the best New Years parties I have ever been to.

My sister Staci recommended we make it a formal mascarade party, which meant not only did we invite our guests less than a week before the party, we also requested they come up with some sort of a mask too!

Are we the best hosts or what?

I feel incredibly lucky that so many of our friends were able to make it. Some ran into babysitter issues and some had already made plans, but I think it is safe to say that those who came had a great time.

Here is my mask. I originally got it on a trip to Austin, TX to visit my dear friend Ellen. I added feathers to the side for some "pazzaz"! Also, because Heidi was making her mask and I like to use hotguns.

Me, Karina the Russian and Staci.

Group picture of all the ladies at the party!

I should clarify that there were actually men present at this party. But none quite as dashing as my darling ED.

Hilarious, no?

Although he looks  like a superhero here, he didn’t come to my rescuing until later on. Before everyone started arriving to the party, ED decided to shine up the hard wood floors. He sprayed the floor with Pledge and mopped over it with a flat dusting mop. The floors looked beautiful, but were slicker than an ice rink! Even after we tried to clean the Pledge off the floor we had to tell all of our guests to walk carefully — especially the women in their high heels!

However, it was not until right after the stroke of midnight when we went outside to watch the fireworks, that I slid on the actual ice and landed right on my ass! Not to worry though, my masked hero came running to sweep me up.

Best New Years kiss ever!

Happy New Years everyone! Here’s to an amazing 2010!

Blogfully yours,

Summer

ED is not Emotionally Disturbed, Holidays, Out and About

How Did It Get Here Already?

I have four Christmas parties this week. That’s one, two, three, FOUR social obligations to prepare for. Honestly, I don’t live under a rock, so I am not sure how exactly Christmas sneaked up on me this year. I knew it was approaching, but now it’s like BAM! I’m here bitches, ready or not! Where’s the egg nog?

And I am not. Ready that is. I am not ready for Christmas.

Oh sure, I did a little online holiday shopping in my bathrobe a few weeks ago. But that is simply not going to cut it! I have to bake cookies, put bows on presents and shop for the perfect gifts and… wait a second, who in the hell am I trying to kid? No one, and I mean NO ONE expects that sort of thing out of me. I even told ED I was going to make homemade Oreo cookies and you know what he told me? “What’s wrong with the ones you buy at the store?” and you know what? He is absolutely right.

Why mess with perfection? Why go against god’s will to have perfectly round cookies laying neatly in rows? Why upset the system?

This year, if I show up to your holiday party carrying a bag of Oreo cookies with a bow haphazardly slapped on it, please keep in mind that it’s the thought that counts. Also, that it is 100% ED’s fault that I am not baking this year.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

PS – the title makes me giggle. Shortcomings… E.D….he he he.

ED is not Emotionally Disturbed, Holidays

There is something you should know about me. Come to think of it, you probably already know…

I am a VERY open person.

I say too much.

I over share.

And I bleed my narcissism all over this blog.

I’ve always been this way.  If someone is willing to listen, I open up. At a birthday party just the other week, I got into a conversation with an incredibly sweet not-so-sober gal I just met and ended up telling her my life story.  I was like, Ha ha! High five! Way to play flip cup! We totally dominated the guys! By the way, did I tell you I may never be able to have children?

Seriously? Who does that? Maybe it’s part of my middle child syndrome. I’m not really sure. Doctors are looking into it.

However, there are some topics I do not broach; like my personal relationship with my boyfriend ED. It’s not for lack of wont on my part, but more out of respect for him. You see, ED is my polar opposite. He is a private person. He doesn’t share his life story, fears and victories, with strangers. I think know a part of him thinks I am crazy for sharing as much as I do. So I write very little about our relationship–outside of sharing a funny story here and there–and try to keep my posts about the one thing no one can object to: ME!

Today I reached an interesting crossroad… a dilemma if you will. Because the TMI topic on my mind has to do with my relationship with ED. It’s my feelings, and therefore about ME so I could easily justify saying whatever I want.

But at what cost?

I tried to do the mature adult thing and talk to ED about it.

“Babe, I’m having trouble knowing what to do. How do you feel about me writing about us on my TMI post?”

“That sounds a lot like it will involve… feelings… and emotions… that strangers from all of the world will read about.”  *insert disgusted sound*

“Yes sweetie, it’s called blogging. I know you are a super private person but that is the topic that is on my mind so I thought I better talk to you about it before you read it online. It’s just that I made the decision to go back to what I originally started the blog out to be: a place for me to talk about my feelings in a very public way.”

“Well… I guess you can write about your… feelings about us. It’s more the personal stories about us that I don’t think you should share.”

“Don’t worry darling. I won’t let the Internet know about all of your sappy ways. Your secret is safe with me.”

Oops!

Only now this post has become incredibly long and I have lost the emotional capacity to explore my excitement and fears of the phase of our relationship we are entering. I mean, we are approaching a YEAR of being together (year and a four months if you include the first time we dated) and ED and I have both accepted the fact that neither of us are going anywhere!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

Me neither. Except that it feels good… and scary… but mostly good.

***

What about you? I’m curious. Do you “over share”? Are there topics you won’t write about, or if you are not a blogger, that you feel people should not write about?

Blogfully yours,

Summer

ED is not Emotionally Disturbed, TMI Friday

I must say I had a truly a-freaking-mazing Thanksgiving holiday. I have great pictures and stories to share but unfortunately you will need to wait a day or two for them because I spent the last five days pretending like I don’t have a care in the world and I am now up to my eyeballs in homework. Bloody homework.

My first day back in the real world started out with an unexpected run in with an ex-boyfriend. Don’t you just hate those? Fortunately, for the first time since we broke up about 2 years ago, he was very non-asshole-ish. I’d like to say it was because he has grown up or moved on… but it was more than likely because we saw each other in a work setting and I was with a client who spends money with his company. Still, being treated like a human being rather than the bitch who broke his heart was greatly appreciated.

I’d like to start a petition that states whenever a relationship ends, the person who has lived in that state for the shorter amount of time has to move at least two states away. Seriously this idea is genius! Think about all of the problems this would solve! For example, last Valentines Day ED and I ran into his ex-girlfriend at our romantic dinner out (she was there with her mother). If my breakup law was put into play, that never would have happened because she would be living in Arkansas!

But I digress…

Later on, in my first day back in the real world, I got an e-mail from Heidi saying she had the two tickets to see 30 Seconds to Mars I had asked her about months ago. Only they weren’t just regular tickets, they were VIP tickets. I was distraught because I knew the responsible thing to do would be to stay home and get caught up on homework. But I am not responsible, or logical… at least when it comes to seeing sexy men with guitars on stage. So I made an appearance in class, ran home and practiced my speech for 30 minutes, threw on black clothes and an extra layer of makeup and left to see Jared. Beautiful, sexy, black eyeliner wearing Jared Leto.

Picture courtesy of Karina the Russians Criket phone

So the picture is not great, but even blurry you gotta admit he looks hot. I told ED that Jared Leto almost looks as hot on stage with a guitar as he did swinging an ax on the farm. He told me to shut it. I told him to watch it buster because I’ve lived in Salt Lake a lot longer than he has and I don’t want to have to ship him off to South Dakota. He didn’t get it. But he will once my breakup law passes.

Threats! Yet another benefit to my brilliant idea.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Concert whore, ED is not Emotionally Disturbed

Did you know Kevlar comes in pink?

I’m off to the country to spend Thanksgiving with ED’s family this year. This will be my first Thanksgiving away from my family. Ever. It will also be the first time in 10 plus years I have missed the crazy 5am madness that is “Black Friday” shopping.

I’m not sure which makes me more sad.

The other night, while planning the details of our little holiday trip, ED asked me if I would like to shoot guns while we are there. I told him hell yeah I want to shoot guns while we are there! but secretly, between you and me, I’m kinda scared shitless of guns. I’m not really sure why either. My dad took me shooting a few times when I was like 12, but I haven’t so much as seen, yet alone shot one, since then. But, I’m a bad ass and a great big liar and it’s kind of a big deal to him so I stuck with bring on the guns!

The next morning I woke from a dream where I had shot myself in the stomach and was bleeding to death on my family room floor. Awesome, right? I’m not feeling so much like a bad ass now. I’m feeling like my little secret of being irrationally scared shitless of guns should probably be shared with ED before I end up inadvertently shooting myself in the foot and, since the closest hospital is like a bazillion hours away, really do bleed to death!

I am probably the sissy-est country boy’s girlfriend in the history of country boy girlfriends. But it is not for lack of trying! I can’t help my dreams!

Luckily, “clairvoyant” is not on my list of talents/skills, so I am pretty sure I’ll be safe. But just in case, I want you all to know I love you and to have a very happy (and safe!) Thanksgiving!

Gobble gobble.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

ED is not Emotionally Disturbed, Holidays

Have I mentioned yet that in my new place I have a shoe closet? Well, technically it’s a storage area with shelves that I transformed into every girls wet dream.

The girl living here before me used it for food storage, an extra pantry of sorts, which totally makes no sense to me. I mean, isn’t that what a fridge and and cupboards are for? Who has more food in their house than that?

Obviously not me.

The shoe closet was actually Karina the Russian’s idea. I tell you, that woman is brilliant! However, I discovered a serious problem with my shoe closet right after I got it all set up. It was missing something and I simply couldn’t rest until I fixed it.

Blurry camera phone picture

Of course I am referring to the perfect pair of sexy black ankle boots which you can wear with slacks or a skirt.

Not to worry, I have fixed the problem. In fact, I double fixed the problem!

Soft suede and shiny leather of course.

The picture totally doesn’t do them justice, but trust me they are hot!

After buying them I called ED all excited. I am not sure why I thought he’d care, but I tried anyway.

Me: “Babe! I just bought the cutest black ankle boots! I bought two pairs though because I couldn’t decide on which ones to get and they were on sale.”

ED: “Like you don’t have enough shoes.”

Me: “I don’t have any black ankle boots.”

ED: “And I’m sure you don’t have any shoes that could work in their place.”

Me: “These shoes are very versatile honey. I don’t think you understand. I can wear these with both pants AND a skirt!”

ED: “But you never wear skirts.”

Me: “Well… should I decide to start wearing skirts I have the perfect boots. I’m prepared.”

At which point he changed the subject.

Men… I don’t think they will ever understand the importance of shoes. They just don’t get it.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

ED is not Emotionally Disturbed, Finding Home

Ed and I have been dating since January. So we have been together, what? NINE MONTHS! Whew! That is the longest I have been in a relationship outside of my ex-husband! But I digress. In those nine months together I have not cooked for him once, unless you count heating up a Totinos pizza, which I totally do but he claims it doesn’t count.

Whatever.

None of that matters now because I “officially” cooked for him AND I had him take pictures to document it.

Look! An apron and everything. Total domestic goddess!

OK so domestic goddess may be a bit of an overstatement for cooking breakfast. However, I did purchase all of the food, mix a pre-made waffle mix, crack eggs and touch raw meat. All to create a lovely meal for my babe.

I cooked eggs too but they didn't make it into the picture.

There should be some type of award for best girlfriend EVER, because I would totally win! I even did the dishes after cooking while ED looked up sports scores online. Yet for some odd reason ED is not nearly as impressed with me as I am.

Again, whatever.

At least I’ve got that out of the way and he can no longer say I A) don’t know how to cook or B) that I never have for him. Which is awesome because now I can go back to my philosophy that kitchens are simply where you store the wine and house the wine glasses.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

ED is not Emotionally Disturbed, Finding Home

ED was offered FREE tickets to the first University of Utah home game and we had to pass them up. “WHY?” you might scream ask. The answer was, sadly, that I had an online assignment due and ED had massive amounts of anatomy studying to do too. And no it wasn’t MY anatomy he was studying either.

So what does the nerd couple do instead?

FOOTYING!

In case you can’t tell, I have my laptop on my lap and ED has his. The TV is showing the U of U (on low volume) kicking Utah State’s butt. The TV is, of course, directly in front of ED.

Football + Studying = FOOTYING

A way to watch the game and still pass Mass Comm 1500.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

PS – in case you are wondering, U of U won 35 to 17! GO UTES!

Back to School, ED is not Emotionally Disturbed, Nerdom