Sometimes I have a hard time keeping up with me too
Recently I met a friend for coffee who I hadn’t been in touch with for seven or eight months. Over our hour long visit of catching up on each other’s lives, I realized how much has changed for me since the beginning of the year.
1. I graduated from college.
2. I got my license to sell insurance.
3. I started a new career.
4. I backpacked the Grand Canyon.
5. I ended yet another long term relationship.
6. I moved, twice.
7. I started training to enter a bodybuilding competition.
8. I re-entered the dating world (only to find out that I am not really ready to be in it).
You know, all totally minor things.
I do like to constantly reinvent myself, but when I see this list even I am a little flustered by it. When my friend asked me, “so what ya been up to lately?”, I didn’t really know where to start. It took her refreshing my memory in a lot of areas to even realize just how much has happened.
Lately I’ve been feeling exhausted a lot. I get frustrated with myself and can’t figure out just what exactly is my problem. Um, hello Self, I am exhausted from this crazy life we are leading!
In typical Summer fashion, when stress piles up, I add more to it and blow full speed ahead.
Starting a new career takes time. Mending a broken heart takes time. Transforming your body into a competition ready body takes time. Adjusting to a new home takes time. Yet for some reason I think I should be able to handle all of it flawlessly at once. But of course I can’t, and I’m not, handling it flawlessly that is. Who could?
My beautifully wise friend told me that I needed to be more patient with myself. I laughed when she told me she had never met anyone with both too much gumption and not enough self-esteem, all at the same time.
I laugh because it’s true.
But don’t worry, I’ve got “manage expectations better” added on my list of things to work on – right after “become a famous fitness model” and “own a multi-million dollar company.”
A girl’s gotta dream, right?