Now that I am officially on a dating hiatus, I’d like to take a moment to revel in the complete awesomeness that is single life.
Right now I am sitting on my back porch. It is lit up with Christmas lights, the type that hang down to resemble icicles. I put them up for a housewarming party and never took them down because they look so perfect in my adorable little back yard. It is night. The crickets are chirping freakishly loud. My cat is sitting on the porch on the lookout for trespassing bugs or varmints. The night is warm. I am sitting at a small patio table wearing a tanktop and panties. From my kitchen a shuffle mix of my favorite music is blaring out at me.
Tonight I went to the gym, came home, watered the lawn and cooked myself a lovely dinner of pork chops, zucchini and sliced tomatoes. I have had a little over a half a bottle of an equally lovely white wine. After dinner I danced in my room while putting away laundry. I wore my ultra girly pink gloves while doing the dishes. I gave myself my nightly facial and I am feeling relaxed.
Being single has it’s completely wonderful moments. Tonight is one of them. I am alone. I am happy. I am not judging myself for being alone. I am at peace.
I’ll be honest. There has been a few times throughout the night that I’ve wondered if I should text one of my cute neighbors to come over and help me drink my wine. But then I rubbed Bengay on my sore knees and realize that if they came over not only would I have to put on pants but I’d have to not smell like an old folks home. WAY too much work.
Right now I am wondering why in the world I have been trying so hard to stay busy. Just chilling out at home is awesome. I think it has finally occurred to me why people choose to stay single. It’s because being self-sufficient and selfish is great. I mean, really, really great. I am not trying to please anyone but myself. I am doing exactly what I want to be doing. I am taking care of my own needs and I am not the least bit bitter about it.
Last night was not as quite as great. I worked until 8. Went to the gym and got home around 9:30. The relationship-me remembered when I used to go to school at night. I would walk up to my relationship-house smelling homemade food. I would enter the house to find a plate of delicious food, a glass of wine and a giant hug and kiss from an oh so pleased with himself man.
It was nice to be taken care of.
But now things are different. I have a new peace. I have crickets. I have an almost full moon. I have my little backyard with it’s charming lights. I have my favorite music playing, my cat keeping guard, and a now mostly empty bottle of lovely white wine. I am not thinking of my next date. I have no plans for the weekend to entertain anyone but myself. I am not drinking to forget – I am drinking for no other reason than because it behoves me to do so.
These beautiful single moments will not last forever. Sooner or later I’ll find myself back on the dating wagon. So for right now, I am going to enjoy the hell out of living for only me. Life is beautiful. Sitting here pantsless, smelling like Bengay, wine and pork chops is priceless. Not necessarily sexy, but it is a single moment meant just for me.
I am happy.