Well, when it rains it pours, or so the expression goes.

I wake up every morning not knowing what my purpose for the day is. I have a million things to do, but no idea where to start. Such small simple tasks, eating breakfast, unpacking boxes, washing my face, now seem like monumental achievements.

Three days ago I was another victim of the economy. I was laid off.

Can you believe that I have never been without a job? I started working when I was 15 and have always bounced directly from one job to another. This is the first time in 16 year that I have not had a job to report to. I am not sure if that is sad or impressive.

So here I am, sitting in completely uncharted waters. I decided to take this opportunity–and I do look at it as an opportunity–to evaluate what I really want. I’m even going so far as to make a pros and cons list for each of my options. I am incredibly lucky to be able to tout 8 years of marketing experience on a resume and my wonderful connections and friends have been sending me leads left and right. However, I am doing my best to put them all aside. Not that I am not greatly appreciative, I am, truly I am, and please keep them coming. It’s just that I want ONE WEEK, or maybe two, to just be. To not think about work. To only focus on my family and myself.

Next week my mother goes in for surgery. I have the great fortune of being able to be there and help her with the recovery process. This means the world to me. My mother has been there for me through so much and to have the opportunity to give back to her, despite the horrible situation surrounding it, means a great deal to me.

So, unemployment…blessing or a curse? Right now it feels a little like both. But I’m going to focus on it being a blessing.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Loved One(s), Unemployment

My hair is in his drain.

There are boxes in the office.

Our dirty clothes are in the same hamper.

He’s finally getting a DVR.

There is healthy food in the fridge; not just condiments and beer.

My decorations are blending with his decorations (plants count as decoration, right?).

He now has a kitchen table. His friends are about to be blown away.

I have a key. He no longer has to buzz me through the front door.

The non-rule breaker helped me sneak in my cat to his “no pets allowed” residence.

He cooks for me.

He lets me study.

He kisses me good morning and good night.

He is possibly the greatest roommate ever.

Even though I am going through massive amounts of stress and challenges in my life right now, it feels amazing to know I have one piece of stability in my life.

My boyfriend, my Cute.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Dating debating, Finding Home

I’ve been slightly absent lately. From this blog, my life, my friends. Everything. The reason being that on Wednesday, October 12th, 2011, I found out that my mother has breast cancer. Since then my time and attention has been devoted to my family. I created a family blog, which if you are a family member and not aware of it, please email me and I’ll send the link.

Here I am sharing my first written attempt at coming to terms with cancer. In it you’ll see I am angry. Very angry, with a side of bitter. I’m less angry now.  Now I am just grateful for the medical team we have in place for my mother and the amount of support that has rallied around my family. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

10/13/11

I’m not sure if the first day or the second is the hardest. This is in part because that is all I’ve survived so far. Will the initial shock, the constant wondering of just how bad it is going to be end up worse than the actual treatment? One day at a time. Just take it one day at a time. That’s the advise I keep hearing. I can’t take it more than one day at a time and therein lies the problem. I want to know what is happening inside my mother’s body. Cancer. What is this cancer thing you speak of? Why does she have it? Please get rid of it. Take it away. Far, far away to a place where I never have to see or hear of it again.

It has been just over 24 hours. Everything is somehow different. My room, the way I breath, my ability to think clearly. Everything. It is breast cancer awareness month ironically enough. What a strange thing to have. Who in this world is unaware of cancer? It is everywhere. We are all afraid of it. Everything causes it, from the sun, to cell phones, to fast food. We are all well aware and yet we do nothing. Why not come up with a month where all other research stops except research to find out a.) how to prevent it, and b.) a cure. How about that idea? No more wearing pink, no more 5K fund raisers, no more ribbons. Let’s just pool all our resources. Take every specialist, doctor, scientist, pathologist, futurist, and brainiac we can find and lock them in a room together. Maybe Google will loan us their chef for good measure to keep them constantly fed and working.

Cancer awareness? I thought I was aware. Turns out I was only aware of what the disease is – not what it does to an entire families well being. I was unaware that a mammogram and an ultrasound could lead to a doctors diagnosis of cancer which would forever change life as I have known it. Is this what we are all supposed to be aware of? That there is a silent killer that destroys lives and peace of mind? Why? So we can live in even more fear? There is nothing we can do about it! Right now I feel the more helpless than I have ever felt in my entire life! My mother is sick. Something toxic is inside her body trying to slowly kill her and there is nothing I can do to fix her. Thank you, breast cancer awareness month, I am now well aware of that.

But you know what? Don’t think for a second that I won’t try. My mother is a fighter and there is absolutely no way she will leave this earth without seeing me married off. Can you believe she actually picked out my wedding date? True story. I’m not even engaged and an hour after dropping the bomb on me that she has cancer, she informs me that I should get married on 12.12.12. She figures by that time she will have beaten cancer, have grown her hair back, and will be well enough to travel to whatever destination wedding we decide on. Plus she likes the date. It’s clever.

That’s my mom for you. If there is a question in her mind as to whether or not she will kick cancer’s ass, she will never, ever, let on to it. It is just an inconvenience of major proportion. She has plans and stuff to do. This whole cancer business is just plain in her damn way.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Cancer, TMI Friday

It’s only natural that people want to know, how did I meet Cute?

It’s a classic story really.

Boy meets girl. Boy gets girl’s number. Boy asks girl out. Girl accepts after a thorough Facebook investigation. Sparks fly and hearts are all a flutter.

Great story right?

Boooring.

The truth is that I went out, in public, dressed in full blown costume to a friends 80’s Prom themed birthday party.

Did I mention it was at a bar?

Fortunately my friends are incredibly fun and 90% of the party was also promed to the max.

I proceeded to drink, as one is prone to do when dressed ridiculously at a party, and was having a great time. I certainly didn’t think in my wildest dreams that I would meet somebody. I was loud, and giggly, and playing the role of a 80’s diva. Then, when I least expected it, my friend Chris walked up with a beautiful tall man.

“Summer, this is Jaron. Jaron, this is Summer.”

And then Chris walked away.

I was taken a little aback to be honest. Here I was with CLAW BANGS! God awful CLAW BANGS and blue eyeshadow! And now here was this tall, handsome drink of water standing in front of me that I was supposed to converse with. Who, by the way, was not in costume what-so-ever.

I could have killed my friend just then.

But instead I did what I do best. I laughed, I smiled, and I rolled with the punches.

We chatted for quite a while and as my sister Staci was dragging me out of the bar because it was closing time, he asked for my number – which, of course, I gave him.

He immediately text me saying, “This is the tall, dark, and handsome man you met tonight, Jaron. ”

He waited the appropriate two days to call me, and yes, the part about checking him out on Facebook before accepting was true. He seemed legit, outside of a leftover picture from China which still had what I assumed was his ex-girlfriend so I accepted his date invite. We hit it off immediately and have been inseparable ever since.

Whoda thunk…finding love at an 80’s party?

Blogfully yours,

Summer

*To see more fabulously 80′s pictures, visit my Flickr page.

Dating debating