Death anniversaries are the least fun anniversaries
Last weekend I was invited to go on a weekend trip to Denver with the man I’ve been seeing, John. I choose to decline. Partially because I am not sure I am ready to take the ginormous step that is traveling with a man, but also because of prior commitments – the most important of which being Zach’s memorial.
Saturday, November 6th, 2010, marked the one year anniversary of my dear friend Zach’s death. In his honor his mother set up a memorial brunch at the last place she had dined with him, Ihop.
My sister Staci, just as she did one year ago, spent the entire day by my side. She was and is still my greatest support. She encouraged me to remember the good times and we talked at length about what a wonderful man he was. He had the most amazing smile. It was absolutely contagious. You’d catch a glance at his big ol’ grin and the next thing you know you would be smiling too.
I won’t go into the depth of my anticipation and flat out dread of this day. I miss my friend. I miss him all the time. Words can not fully explain the grief I experienced when he died and the grief I experience still. But no matter how extreme my grief, I know it is nothing compared to the grief of his mother whom I adore and love. Zach would have wanted me to be there for her.
Truthfully all I did was show up, sit next to her, and tell her I love her. I think sometimes that’s the best capacity of being there for someone. Obviously I’m no saint just for showing up, quite the opposite. My actions were actually a little self motivated…
By seeing Zach’s mom, I got to see a part of Zach. Denver will never be able to hold a candle to that.