TMI Friday – Removing Pictures
At what point after a break-up do you remove all evidence that the other person existed? I don’t suppose there is a hard and fast rule. I’m sure every case is different.
For me it started on day four when I removed his picture from my office. It was a candid Polaroid from our friends going away party.
On day thirteen I removed his picture from my family room – a cheesy photo of he and I on my 29th birthday. We looked so tan and happy sitting there in my designer frame on the mantle.
On day seventeen I removed the hand drawn picture a young relative of his had sketched of us over Thanksgiving. Our huge round heads were staring at each other while hearts circled the air. I remember she choose us as her subject because we had fallen asleep on the couch together and we looked “so in love.”
That was probably the hardest one to take down.
Most of the time I am doing alright though.
Most of the time.
He told me early on that we should stay friends. At first I said okay thinking it would be a good idea. Then I saw him. He told me he had bought me a birthday present and he hugged me. Twice. The second hug lasted approximately 3.7 seconds longer than I could handle and I became an utter mess for the next three days.
I’ve avoided seeing him since.
When I got back from New York, in a Lortab induced state, I told him I couldn’t be his friend, that it was just too hard and that I cried at midnight when I turned thirty and hadn’t heard from him. He wanted to rehash our final days. I told him what’s the point. Then he offered to come take care of me and my broken foot. I said no, woke up at 3:30 a.m. in excruciating pain and almost reconsidered my answer.
Break-ups are hard.
Let’s face it, they just plain suck.
I’m nowhere near the rock I’d like to be or even the one that I pretend to be. I have my moments where I don’t miss him at all followed by moments where I miss him so much it hurts.
Part of me has moved on.
Part of me wonders if he has gotten rid of all evidence of me. How long did he wait to take down my pictures? Are they still up?
Honestly, I don’t know that it would mean anything either way.
But it doesn’t stop me from wondering.
Blogfully yours,
Summer
Nothing easy about it. I’ve always tried to go by the rule of a period of separation at LEAST as long as the relationship was. That’s usually enough time to let it be done. After that, once all the feelings of missing the person have subsided and you’ve gotten used to not being with them, being friends is usually pretty easy.
As my mom’s email signature says: “Everything is OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end.”
Hard stuff — sending lots of love <3
The wondering sucks me in too. I wonder if when he wakes up alone if there’s a moment where he things “Where’s Cass?” I wonder if he’s accidentally called the person that got in our way my name. We didn’t fit. I’m glad its over. I am. But I wonder a lot.
I’m happily engaged, been with my guy for eight years… and there are still days when I wonder about my ex. It’s not that I still want to be with him, but I think we all carry that little grain of “What happened for THEM?” around with us. We know how we dealt with it, but how did they deal with it? I hope things ease up for you! :: hugs ::
Break ups suck….So my new motto?? Dont get yourself in a situation where a break up can happen!
I love you sososososo much!!! Muah!
Dude. I’m SO there. Supposedly time heals, and all that crap. Best of luck.
sometimes we need to change our dreams to keep us smilling.
love you
Break-ups suck so much. But you write about it beautifully, Summer.
I hope a couple of weeks have helped subdue those extremes. And the ankle pain!