Summer School – The Pac-10
Whew… first day of class. Teacher is a little nervous.
tap tap tap
Attention class. Attention! Today’s lesson is going to be on football and a little thing called “The Pac-10.” Now girls, don’t roll your eyes, this is important as you will likely never hear the end of it – especially those of you who live in Utah, Colorado or any other state with a Pac-10 school.
However, since this is Summer School, all lessons will be condensed and put into easily digestible tidbits. Wouldn’t want anyone to work too hard after all.
So. Here is all you need to know about the Pac-10.
The Pac-10, or Pacific-10 Conference, is made up of ten really important, fancy-shmancy colleges like Stanford and UCLA. Recently, the big shots at the Pac-10 got together and decided why the hell not add two more schools into our elcusive little club. So they did.
Still with me?
I’m not sure why they aren’t calling it the Pac-12 now. You’d think that would be a no brainer… but I digress.
Now, being invited to be a part of this conference is like, a really, really, big figgin deal! They only invite schools who excel in not only sports, but also academics. So since the University of Utah is a research school who, well, excels at research, they felt we were qualified. So yeah… go us!
To be able to hold your own in a conversation about the University of Utah and the whole Pac-10 thingy, I’ve developed a few lines for you to use when you find yourself in that situation, and you will, if you live in Utah, Colorado, or any other Pac-10 state.
“I hear that in 2011, when Utah joins the Pac-10, that they will serve beer in the stadium. That totally rocks! Now we don’t have to lose our buzz after the tailgating party or sneak booze in. Score!”
“I hear that since we are now a part of the Pac-10 that means one of the U of U girls will get to be in Playboy. That totally doesn’t suck.”
“I hear that since more of the games we play in will be televised the school will get like, millions of additional dollars so they can recruit even better players to the school. We are totally going to dominate now!”
My personal favorite.
“Isn’t it great how the U of U is going to be in the Pac-10 Conference while BYU is still stuck in the Mountain West Conference? Sucks to be them.”
That wasn’t so bad now was it?
This whole teaching thing is going to be a breeze.
Oh yeah, class dismissed.