I think my mother made a pact with Jesus to keep me humble.

It’s the best explanation I have for the reason dogs howl when I try to sing. Because if I could sing? I would totally be a full fledged diva. I’d be like, I said PEANUT BUTTER M&M’s NOT PEANUT, you MORON! How do you expect me to perform without my PEANUT BUTTER M&M’S??? For the love of god, where is my stylist? No not her, I like the other stylist better and would someone PLEASE get these red roses out of my dressing room? I specifically said NO red roses, only pink, because they make me feel pretty.

Yeah, good call on that pact, mom.

The other night ED and I were driving in the car and I started singing along to the radio.

“Honey, why do you purposely sing as flat and off key as possible?”

“What? What are you talking about? This is just how I sing.”

“No, that can’t be how you sing. You are purposely making your voice sound worse than it is.”

“NO, I’M NOT. I just have a really bad singing voice thankyouverymuch.”

Sigh.

Apparently performing in front of a million screaming fans is not in the cards for me any time soon. I mean, you know you don’t have a shot in hell when you’ve got your boyfriend, your mom AND Jesus all plotting against you.

Thanks a lot, a-holes.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Summer ED is not Emotionally Disturbed, Story Time