Sometimes my logic is slightly off.
For example, I’ve been having trouble sleeping for the past forever. Sleeping medications have been a godsend for me, but I can’t help feeling that popping pills every night is not the “healthiest” thing to do.
Now I’ve never meditated before in my life, but for some reason I get the crazy idea stuck in my head that meditation is the answer to all of my sleep woes. It sounds so holistic and relaxing and shit. How could it not help me?
But how does one learn to meditate? Well if that one is me, and it is, it’s only a quick trip to iTunes away and BAM! Instant zen!
Because learning to meditate is just that easy.
Only it’s totally not, but that doesn’t stop me trying.
I found a series of free pod casts from an Australian meditation organization, downloaded the “beginner” one plus two others that sounded interesting, lay down in bed and listen to my first 23 minute meditation tutorial.
Sadly meditation is hard and I was still wide awake when the Aussie guru thanked me for sharing my journey with him so I took a pill and figured I’d try again the next day. The guru said I should meditate upright anyway after all.
The next day my mind was still on meditation. As I walked to my car from my morning classes, I had the most brilliant idea ever! Why not listen to the “Work” meditation, on my way to work? Makes total sense, right? That way I would totally be all zenerific and ready to kick ass by the time I rolled into the parking lot.
So I buckle up and hit play and the next thing I know I am going 75 mph on the freeway chanting I am not my body. I am not my body. I am not my body. While trying to make myself unaware of my surrounding and not feel my physical body.
Then the Aussie guru tells me to take more deep breaths and calmly chant: I am my soul. I am my soul. I am my heart, and I am my soul!
Of course I’m doing so as I cut people off while trying to merge onto the off ramp as I laugh at just how ridiculous I am.
People, I was trying to cram in time to learn how to meditate! WHILE DRIVING!!!
When I rolled into the parking lot, I was still not convinced I had reached my desired level of Zen. I popped my ear buds in and continued listening and chanting as I walked across two intersections and rode the elevator to the second floor. By the time I got to my work station I was really in tune with my soul.
And by soul, I mean the back of my head from rolling my eyes so much.
Perhaps meditation is lost on me. I really did give it an honest try. Alright, maybe half ass try is more appropriate, but still, I gave it shot. That’s better than NOT giving it a shot, right?
Meditating while driving… I told you my logic was slightly off.