My darling baby sister and her boyfriend decided to “take a break”. Almost simultaneously, Karina the Russian split up with her dirty rocker boyfriend. Both of my girls have been going through the standard grieving process: anger, crying, regret, cleaning, revenge and finally the let’s go get piss drunk, turn heads and break hearts stage.

I assure you, this is the standard breakup protocol.

We have been going through the process together for years and nearly have it perfected. Only, this time it’s a little different. I simply don’t have the energy to participate in what just may be the most important step; the last one! It’s not that I don’t enjoy going out and having a drink with the girls, I do, it’s just that I don’t have the energy to go out and party with a vengeance. Not to mention, I don’t think once you are in a stable relationship (which you would like to keep stable) that you should.

But… my girls needed me, so I came up with a compromise we could all live with. I met them at the first (of many) bar for a few drinks, and when they had successfully turned enough heads, crushed a few fragile egos and were ready to move on, I did the same. Only I moved on to the warm awaiting arms of my sweetheart.

As I was getting ready to leave, the girls asked me if I was sure I didn’t want to continue on with them. I told them I loved them with all my heart, but that I was good. My darling cousin M.E. – who was also along for the girls night – looked at me and said, “You know, that’s all you have to say. ‘I’m good.’ Because you are. When I met ED I knew you two were good together. I can’t remember the last time I could honestly say that I am good. But when you are, that’s all you have to say. Go home to your man now while we go try to find some.”

It was the sweetest, most understanding thing a single girl could possibly say to someone in a relationship. It was as if she was saying even though they were each going through their own relationship battles, it was OK for me to be happy.

We (or at least I) spend so much time worrying about loved ones trials and thinking if we are actually happy, it somehow means we don’t care. Or we beat ourselves up for not reaching the ridiculous standards we set for ourselves. Sometimes feeling like we deserve to be happy, is so much harder than it should be. It may sound odd, but having permission to be happy? It’s a totally freeing feeling.

As we start a new week, I hope you will grant yourselves permission to be happy. And if you can’t, then I officially grant it for you. You are wonderful just the way you are. Be happy. You deserve it too.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Summer Dating debating, sometimes I get on a soap box