The time I made an ass out of myself in front of Twenty-six
I used to work in radio as an account executive for a few various stations which will remain un-named. Account executive is a fancy way of saying I sold air time, or commercials. It was a gig I really enjoyed, mainly because it gave me the ability to meet a lot of musicians.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love musicians? Have I told you how much I thoroughly enjoy going to concerts? No? News to you? Well there is a category on my side bar called “Concert whore” so that should give you some sort of idea.
Throughout the years I have grown to realize that musicians are people, just like you and me… only with lots of money, big egos and substance abuse problems. Don’t get me wrong, it is still really freaking cool to meet them, but I don’t get my panties all in a wad about it anymore. I can be relaxed and non-spazmatic while meeting stars like Aaron Lewis, Tommy Lee, Maroon Five, Nickleback (ED loves to tease me about that one!), Third Eye Blind, Candlebox, Hinder, Alanis Morissette… you get the picture. So I am not entirely sure why, with all the experience I have of meeting celebrities, I completely forgot how to speak when I met Dooce last week.
Ms. Twenty-Six herself was signing copies of her book “It Sucked and Then I Cried” at Kings Bookstore for their holiday open house. When I found out about the book signing (through her blog, which I read everyday), I knew I wanted to go. I’ve only ever heard great things about her from friends who either know her or have met her. Plus, if I am being completely honest, she is pretty much my hero. My blogging hero.
I got to the bookstore just slightly after the open house started. It was pretty packed and I had never been there before so I just started wandering. I turned a corner, looking absentmindedly at books, and there she was. I took a deep breath and walked right up to her table. Instantly any knowledge of how to form words or sentences or thoughts, went straight out the window. She looked at me standing there saying nothing but smiling and playing with the corner of my coat jacket like a lovesick school girl, then casually looked over at her husband Jon giving him the oh great we have another crazy one here look, and greeted me warmly.
Hours after I leaving the book signing, I was still mentally slapping myself on the forehead for acting like such a complete and utter idiot! I’m not one who is prone to beating myself up needlessly, but I could not for the life of me let go of what a spaz I was. She was so incredibly… nice… and normal… and actually tried to have a conversation with me. I say “tried” because it had to be difficult to converse with someone who just keeps smiling and nodding and who couldn’t answer the simplest of questions! When I did manage to speak, I mumbled something about being a blogger and SHE ASKED FOR MY CARD!!! and then I fainted. Okay, so I didn’t actually faint, but it would have been less dramatic than the scene I made, violently digging through my purse muttering “bah… bah… bah…”, until I found it.
Honestly, it was like I didn’t even recognize myself.
When I got home that night I emailed her to apologize for being such a spaz, you know, cause nothing says “I’m not a whack job” like emailing someone you just met 30 minutes after meeting them to tell them you are not actually a freak in real life?
Lord I’m retarded.
I suppose I’ll stick to meeting rock stars from now on because my precious ego can’t take meeting another person I admire.
Have you ever made an ass of yourself in front of someone you admire or am I just special, and by special I mean retarded?
Blogfully yours,
Summer
I have this thing where I say stupid things out loud that make perfect sense in my head but sound totally wrong when they come out of my fat dumb mouth. I think that is worse. For example, just last week I was at a birthday party and took a picture of my friend (who’s tan is worn way off) next to a picture of her friend (who happens to be black.) So I proceed to tell her that she looks really white next to that guy. (In front of that guy.) It was merely an observation, but did not sound very good.
Last year I went to Phoenix to visit a friend and upon meeting her roommate, said, “How can you be so skinny and have such a big butt?” Now in my defense, I was trying to compliment her because she had an amazing body and a great ass. I do a million squats a week to try and get an ass like that. But alas, I still sounded like an idiot.
My problem isn’t that I turn stupid in front of people I’m excited to meet. Quite the opposite. Given enough time, I act like myself and say something to make them feel uncomfortable. So yeah, it’s good that I’m myself, but not when I go to extremes by saying stupid shit (because that’s the way I always am). hahaha.
Probably you should stop talking completely, if the first time you open it is to use the word retarded without constraint or concern. Clearly you can write, why not be respectful?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM96e0yWjhI
@Blanche
Maybe you should stop reading for fear that someone might hurt your delicate little sensibilities.
Blanche I have a very close member of my family who is mentally disabled, and those that are offended by the word “retarded” are usually the people that are closed minded and judgemental not the person describing their own situations.
Okay, so I have something to say. First, Summer is allowed to say whatever the hell she wants. It’s her blog.
Second, Amy J, as a special education teacher, I am offended by the use of the word “retarded” and it’s not because I’m close-minded. Judgemental? Maybe.
But the bottom line is, it’s the same as using an adjective such as “gay” to describe something with a negative connotation and people need to understand why certain things are just not appropriate to say.
I come in peace, friends.
Kel I’m offended by lots of things, and I’m sure I have unintentionally offended many by things I say. I don’t mean to offend but it seems as though people are easily offended and just because you are offended doesn’t mean you have to rant about it.
Just because someone says something that I find offensive I don’t need to fly off the handle and tell someone that they are not being respectful. I don’t know Summer but I’m fairly certain she wasn’t planning to offend anyone. Just as I don’t mean to offend anyone with this comment (even though I’m sure I will) I think blogs should be taken with a grain of salt which is why I rarely write in my own blog about anything because of the comments I get.
This is probably a rant of my own, but my “position” if you will is just that if someone says or writes something offensive to YOU. Let it go…it only hurts you.
I think I am just going to take this experience as a lesson learned. It is, in fact, MY BLOG, so I should be able to say whatever I want. However, it is not my intention to offend anyone by doing so. I do care about my readers opinions and it was never my intention to discriminate against individuals with disabilities.
While I will not recant what I said, I will try to be more respectful and politically correct in the future.
Thank you.
Ok, the definition of retard as a noun:
a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance
There is the slang definition refering to mentally handicapped persons of differing abilities.
However, technically, she used the word correctly. If one infers a negative connotation from that, then whose problem is it really when the implication wasn’t there?
Perhaps it’s my Asperger’s making me see this from a logical non-emotional way… but she truly was refering to a “retarded” way she had of communicating at that moment. And sincerely, I often have those same moments.
@heather
Thank you.
Summer I’m a new reader and I love your blog. Say whatever you want!
Heather, Thank you!
As Kelli said, I come in peace. I also come as someone who gets it—I’ve used the word retarded as an insult before. Still, I’m a teacher, and a former teacher of developmentally disabled adults. I’ve seen how hurtful it is to those who are mentally retarded when the word is used negatively.
And sure, you can say it’s your blog, and you can say what you’d like, but isn’t there a more repsectful way to do so? We are all blessed with the freedom to say, write, think what we wish but that doesn’t mean we should.
I doubt that you meant for this post to ignite a discussion, but I really do hope you’ll take the feedback and choose words wisely.
Thanks for considering your words Summer.
New reader, who is not close-minded, nor fitted with delicate sensibilities, nor flying off any handles-
Blanche