TMI Friday – The Next Phase
There is something you should know about me. Come to think of it, you probably already know…
I am a VERY open person.
I say too much.
I over share.
And I bleed my narcissism all over this blog.
I’ve always been this way. If someone is willing to listen, I open up. At a birthday party just the other week, I got into a conversation with an incredibly sweet not-so-sober gal I just met and ended up telling her my life story. I was like, Ha ha! High five! Way to play flip cup! We totally dominated the guys! By the way, did I tell you I may never be able to have children?
Seriously? Who does that? Maybe it’s part of my middle child syndrome. I’m not really sure. Doctors are looking into it.
However, there are some topics I do not broach; like my personal relationship with my boyfriend ED. It’s not for lack of wont on my part, but more out of respect for him. You see, ED is my polar opposite. He is a private person. He doesn’t share his life story, fears and victories, with strangers. I think know a part of him thinks I am crazy for sharing as much as I do. So I write very little about our relationship–outside of sharing a funny story here and there–and try to keep my posts about the one thing no one can object to: ME!
Today I reached an interesting crossroad… a dilemma if you will. Because the TMI topic on my mind has to do with my relationship with ED. It’s my feelings, and therefore about ME so I could easily justify saying whatever I want.
But at what cost?
I tried to do the mature adult thing and talk to ED about it.
“Babe, I’m having trouble knowing what to do. How do you feel about me writing about us on my TMI post?”
“That sounds a lot like it will involve… feelings… and emotions… that strangers from all of the world will read about.” *insert disgusted sound*
“Yes sweetie, it’s called blogging. I know you are a super private person but that is the topic that is on my mind so I thought I better talk to you about it before you read it online. It’s just that I made the decision to go back to what I originally started the blog out to be: a place for me to talk about my feelings in a very public way.”
“Well… I guess you can write about your… feelings about us. It’s more the personal stories about us that I don’t think you should share.”
“Don’t worry darling. I won’t let the Internet know about all of your sappy ways. Your secret is safe with me.”
Oops!
Only now this post has become incredibly long and I have lost the emotional capacity to explore my excitement and fears of the phase of our relationship we are entering. I mean, we are approaching a YEAR of being together (year and a four months if you include the first time we dated) and ED and I have both accepted the fact that neither of us are going anywhere!
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
Me neither. Except that it feels good… and scary… but mostly good.
***
What about you? I’m curious. Do you “over share”? Are there topics you won’t write about, or if you are not a blogger, that you feel people should not write about?
Blogfully yours,
Summer
I don’t write about any special men in my life or about sex. But I write about everything else. And who knows, maybe that will change. In person though, I share far too much. You know that though!
I used to over share But don’t anymore. Definitely not on my blog. I do, however, make fun of people, which gets me into trouble.
I ALWAYS over share. Especially when I am drunk. I always have apologies to make the next morning. My husband HATES it. At least you don’t share about “ED”, I share about my husband sometimes without even realizing it. My husband is a war vet and is very private about what he has been through, and I sometimes catch myself telling people his stories. So not cool. But, I just have a big mouth. Maybe it will be my new years resolution to not over share.
Summer… for one, I’m really glad you’re not going anywhere! Also, I guess I’m related to ED because I’m pretty private as well. I have maybe two people in the world that know everything about me, my two best friends. Not even my parents or siblings. For it me, it’s an independence thing to not need to share with everyone- that I can have parts of my life that people don’t need to know about/aren’t allowed to. And, yeah, that’s my sharing quota for awhile. Love ya!
I saw your tweet last night about meeting Dooce and I clicked on over to your blog, I’m hooked. I felt the same way when I met her, at her last book signing. I completely overshare, like here for instance. I share with the checker at the grocery store, the person next to me in a really long line. Just about anyone that will listen. What do I care I don’t have to be accountable to that person ever again. I WANT to overshare on my blog, but I’m afraid I would alienate pretty much everyone. I’m a native Utahn with my own UT issues, and I really enjoy your blog. Thanks for oversharing!
Gee. I overshare all the time, everywhere. I keep other people’s secrets though. And I only write boyfriendy feelings I’ve already discussed with him. I don’t always tell him when he’ll appear in a blog post, but he’ll never read anything he doesn’t already know about our relationship. For someone who overshares constantly, it’d be really embarrassing to have to answer the question, “Why didn’t you just TELL me you felt that way?”
I’m going to claify a few things. I share with people I know and who are close to me. Maybe it seems crazy to some, but I like to pick and choose who gets to know what about my life. It may come from growing up in a small town where everyone is in each others business, who knows, but I can’t stand meeting a person who already thinks they know me when the don’t. That being said I’m going to make my darling Summer very happy and publically say to all you internet people that I love her very much and couldn’t be happier. Even if she is always trying to tell complete strangers everything about her and somtimes me.
I am being pressured into commenting and quite frankly the pressurer should know that when pressured I just put it to ya! so umm I’m gonna side with “Ed” on this one… Take that!
Okay seriously… writing about your feelings and thoughts about your relationship in a private journal without sharing them with “Ed” is one thing. Writing about them in a public forum without discussing them with him first could cause some major issues. Who wouldn’t be frustrated if they read something about their relationship and saw people from who knows where commenting on it before you even knew what was going on. Reminds me of one of my old interns who came to work one day and sat at his desk for about 10 minutes then stood up and left, never returning. Later that day he called and told me that he wouldn’t be to work for a few days as he had found out, on his wife’s blog, that they were apparently swingers. The only problem was she was the only one swinging and he knew nothing about it. I would remember to respect the one you love enough to communicate with each other first and then if you want to write about it, find an appropriate way to do it. I know you already do so go on being yourself!
I side with ED here and I’m even a blogger. I share my humiliating moments, but I struggle sharing honest emotion. I’ve always admired you for just being able to share anything, with anyone. I’m way too guarded for that.
So is being guarded bad? It has just as many complications as does oversharing. It’s just another coping mechanism for whatever life throws at us.
Kristi, I suppose I never really thought of over sharing as a coping mechanism… I can see how being guarded would be, but you do raise a good point. I don’t know that either is good vs. bad. It all stems from how we were raised and what values were instilled in each of us. ED can attest that while I tell personal stories and a feelings here, he often has to pry out of me what is on my mind when it comes to us. Especially in the beginning. We both were VERY guarded and it too a long time before we both let down our walls completely. Being guarded is a form of self preservation. You open up to the ones who are worth it.
I really dont think I need to say this but for the record I am an over sharer! So ED, Here’s another vote for Summer!
I am defintiely an over share-er! Not only in my blog, but also in real life. I’m like you, I get to talking with someone and the next thing I know, they know my whole life story! Haha! Oh well! I’m not a private person and I don’t do well with secrets. It is what it is!! And I accept that!