Last week I ignored much of what was going on in the real world after I found out Zach had died. I was caught up with my own personal mourning, viewings and funerals. When my friend Heidi asked me if I was still planning on going to the Paint the Town Red party–an AIDS benefit held at Hotel Monaco–I had all but forgotten.

I lied and told her I had been planning on it.

On Wednesday I went to the mall and shopped half-heartedly for an outfit to wear, still dressed in black from the funeral I had attended only five hours earlier. I found a red top, figured it would work, and called it a night.

The next night I wrote, “Tonight the red lipstick comes out” on my Facebook status. The responses I received were overwhelming; everyone cheering me on and encouraging me to live life.

Feeding off of that energy, I put a smile on my face, painted that smile with my brightest shade of red lipstick, and met up with Heidi and Tammy for a night of fun with a good cause behind it.

At Tammy's, getting primped to go.

Tammy looking smoking HOT!

Heidi looking adorably sassy!

Group picture taken at the event. I have no idea who the guy in the picture is, but his boyfriend was the one taking the picture, so whatev.

I freaking love this picture.

While I can’t say that big ‘ol smile remained the entire night–I ran into friends who asked about Zach and I may have cried just a tad at dinner–it felt good to have a night devoted to fun and to spending time with my girls. I am so thankful to them for taking me out and showing me that life still goes on.

I think Zach would be happy to see me smile. Although he is, he never would have wanted to be the source of pain or sadness for anyone. I’m sure, if he was here, he would have loved to hear the stories from that night. He probably would scold me when I told him I walked by myself three blocks, downtown, in the rain, to get the car (we were all in heels, but my feet were holding up the best and I refused to get a taxi for such a short distance). He would have told me I need to be safe, and that I better have had mace on me! He was always so protective…

*sigh*

Man I miss him.

The next morning I woke up and saw lipstick on my pillow case; I guess I didn’t wash it off before going to bed.

It made me smile though, as I remembered the night. It was the first morning I had woken up and smiled in over a week.

Oh the power of red lipstick.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Summer Out and About