Halloween is right around the corner, not that you need reminding. I am sure you are totally on top of your costume situation. Me too… except I’m having a little trouble this year. You see, Halloween is what ED and I like to refer to as “National Dress Like a Slut” day. It’s incredibly hard to avoid the hooker costumes if you are a woman. It seems like every costume has a sexy twist to it. Hell they even made Olive Oyl sexy this year!

I can’t say I am necessarily opposed to “National Dress Like a Slut” day. Throughout the many years I have been a sexy milkmaid, sexy cop, sexy school girl, sexy woodland fairy, busty saloon girl and just last year I was Jessica freakin’ Rabbit!

So what is the problem this year?

ED and I decided to dress as a couple. We went down to the Dress Like a Slut head quarters, also known as the seasonal costume shop, and went down each row twice trying to agree on what to be and I finally chose a costume I liked (of course I’m not going to tell you what it is, that would spoil the fun! But let me tell you this: it’s sexy! Shocker!). I tried it on and immediately called ED in to get his opinion if it was too sexy or if he thought I could pull it off.  Eventually, after much debating, I decided “what the hey! I’m only going to be young once” and paid the goth checkout lady my grocery money and was on my merry little way.

A week went by and I decided to try it on again. This time without a bra, or pants, and HOLY FREAKING COW… my girls look like two puppies fighting! I mean which is totally cool because I now have a place to keep my lipstick, phone and bottle of beer. Who needs a purse when you have a costume that creates an unmovable cleavage storage area? Right? Right?

OK, so obviously I’m slightly exaggerating. Slightly. But there is a lot of clev going on and yes, last year there was a lot too, but last year I didn’t have to take the whole boyfriend thing into account. I want to be respectful to both of us. I want to be comfortable and I want him to not want to punch guys in the face for ogling.

I’m thinking about getting a long wig so that I can kind of wear it over the shoulders? I thought about getting some fabric, but I know it just won’t look right. I’m committed to the outfit–it’s non-refundable and ED has the matching outfit–so I just need to find a way to make it work. A way to come across as sexy-classy, not sexy-trashy.

HA! Who am I trying to kid? Classy? On National Dress Like a Slut day? I’m about as likely to accomplishing that as I am to turn back time to before I bought the outfit!

Oh well. I’ll make it work. Hopefully you’ve chosen more wisely and your costumes are not causing you any need for concern!

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Summer Halloween