When Visiting Mexico, Try Not to Piss Off the Mayan Gods… OR Jimmy Buffett
Let me just start by saying I LOVE MEXICO! I had an amazing time soaking up the sun and drinking the culture. We stayed at a beautiful four start all-inclusive resort. All-inclusive meaning, anything you could possibly want to eat or drink was included.

Just looking at this makes me want to go back

Standing by the outside of one of the entrances.

Our resorts stretch of beach. So amazing!
ED and I were some of the few Americans there. Most of the visitors were European or from South America, so I saw enough men in banana hammocks and tight square cut short shorts to last me a life time!
The resort was actually four resorts combined into one. It is so large they have a train which runs from one end to the other, not that you can’t walk it (and walk it we did!), but tourists are lazy and after a few cocktails the walk can seem impossibly long, plus who doesn’t love a train, right?

Lazy (American) boarding the train.
As I mentioned before I left, ED and I decided that the best approach to this vacation was to have one active sight seeing day followed by a drunken relaxing day of laying out at one of the eight pools or under the umbrellas along the ocean beach.
For our first active day we decided to explore some Mayan ruins. We moseyed over to the tourism booth, you know, just to check prices. The gentleman working the booth took one look at us and knew the perfect hook, line and sinker question to ask: “you like adventure?”
I am proud to say I participated in every event! I hiked, I zip-lined over a pond with a crocodile, I was “blessed” by a Mayan priest right before repelling into their sacred freezing cold cenote water – which I might add is where they used to dump sacrificial bodies and the skulls are STILL AT THE BOTTOM!!!, I was the only girl who climbed the rope ladder out of the cenote instead of being raised out (no small feat I assure you!) and I canoed – well, technically ED canoed and I sunbathed but in my defense I was exhausted and he loves exercise, so really I was doing him a favor.
Even though I did all of these fun activities, I have no pictures to share.
At the start of this portion of the tour they explained we did not need to bring our cameras because the Mayan men following us around were taking pictures which we could purchase at the end.
Sadly, the pictures were so incredibly over priced (I’m talking $50 for only 4 shots!) we decided not to get them.
I do have however have a picture of the lunch prepared for us by the Mayan women from the village.

I kid you not, I am close to 2 feet taller than the Mayan women.

Soup, boiled chicken, spaghetti, and potato empanadas. A match made in Mayan Heaven.
The rest of the adventure tour took place at the Coba ruins. About a 30 minute drive form the village.

Standing in front of a sacrificial pyramid they wouldn't let us climb.

The strongest male to get a ball through the hoop first won the trophy of being sacrificed. Yay!

Riding a rickety bike around the ruins.

Us with our Italian tour mates. Language barrier? What language barrier?

Only the largest pyramid on the Yucatan Peninsula - Nohoch Mul.

At the top of the bazillion step Nohoch Mul pyramid. I was content to sit in the shade, but nooo! Somebody thought I might regret going there and then NOT climbing it.

What else would you expect at the end of a guided Mexican tour - Tequila!
Later that evening, on the long walk back to the room from dinner, I started to feel… not right. Not right AT ALL! I had a restless nights sleep and woke up doubled over in pain from massive stomach cramps. I spent the day alternating between the bathroom, the bed and laying in the warm sun on the beach.
I suppose there are worse places to recover but I assure you this was not how I had envisioned spending my relaxing day.
Now I can’t say for certain – mainly because I don’t speak Mayan – but I think the cause of my ailment was the supposed “blessing” the Mayan priest guy did. Somewhere in between the smoke and chanting and waving of branches, he must have included the phrase “buy our pictures or suffer from the worst food poisoning of your life”!
Makes sense right?
But what about ED? Did he get sick too?
ED grew up eating dirt in the country. His stomach in not quite as sensitive as mine. He felt a little sick but nothing serious. That is, until the Mayan priest sent a message to Jimmy Buffet so that when ED had his ginormous 32 oz margarita and fresh made guacamole in the airport Margaritaville restaurant before our flight home, he ingested the same poisonous revenge sickness.

ED vetoed the picture I wanted to use, but "IT'S 5 O'CLOCK SOMEWERE" is awesome none the less.
Too bad ED only had the comfort of his own bed to recover in. The sound of the ocean is much more medicinal in my opinion!
***
All things considered and despite getting cursed by a Mayan priest sick, I have to say this was one of my favorite vacations ever! I got to do and experience so many things that I could easily make this post three times longer!
I have a lovely sun kissed glow and I checked off almost everything on my “to do” list from Karina the Russian. Best of all, I got to experience it all with the man I am crazy about. After six days together, I still love the guy.
Truthfully I only wanted to murder him once… OK, maybe twice… but trying to trade me for a box of Cuban cigars is just not cool! It made me feel cheap and under valued. Hello! It’s called haggling ED. You should have at least held out for two boxes AND a sombrero, that way we could have checked off all of the items on the list!
Blogfully yours,
Summer
oh boy, I cannot wait to go on vacation. Problem is I don’t have one planned. sorry about the food poisening, I agree you were cursed. But all in all it looks like you had an awesome time.
“Zip-lined over a pond with a crocodile.” You’ve officially whomped all of us in bad-assery.
The photos from your trip are gorgeous. Glad you had such a great time, despite Montezuma’s revenge. Gasp!