I am on a quest to find the perfect lunch break study joint where I can get food, some peace and quiet and internet access. I have been rotating through 3 local coffee shops but hate that when I leave my hair always smells like toast for the rest of the day.
Downtown Salt Lake has a new incredibly beautiful library that I have heard is decent to study at, so yesterday I headed there. There was no street parking so I headed to the underground parking garage. I HATE underground parking! Is it just me or do they always seem like a murder scene? No one is around, every step you take echos, it is poorly lit… the man walking towards me with a baby stroller looks like he is going to pull a chainsaw out of it and start chasing me as soon as he gets closer. I have to remind myself that this is Salt Lake and not a slasher movie.
Anyway, parking at the library is free for the first 30 minutes and $1.25 for every 30 minutes after which seems a little steep to me. I walk down the hall where there are little cafe shops but realize quickly that you can not take food into the library with you so I pass them by. I walk through the metal detectors and it really is beautiful. Glass walls overlooking the city and the smell of old books. I start looking around trying to scope out a good place to hunker down for the next 45 minutes, carefully assessing the people around. I see no less than 4 (presumably) homeless guys hanging out. I head up a level to look for a more secluded area. I find a work station in the corner by a window. Shortly after I have all of my books out and am starting to add polynomials, one of the homeless dudes from down stairs comes and sits at a chair 2 desks down from me. No big deal until he falls asleep and starts SNORING very loudly. I breath deep, curse myself for not bringing headphones and keep working. Then snoring homeless guys buddy from downstairs comes and sits right across from me to read the paper. It’s a public library, people can sit wherever they like, I get it. But I purposely found a place away from everyone and there were other empty desks close by so I start feeling like he did it just to fuck with me. I become a little paranoid and can’t concentrate. All I hear is the snoring snoring snoring and I keep getting waves of the scent of cigarette smoke and dirty clothes from the guy sitting across from me who is intently studying a Sears ad like it is breaking news.
Finally I pack up my stuff and start to head out, half positive that the homeless duo are going to start following me, which of course they don’t but it doesn’t stop me from looking over my shoulder anyway. I feel like everyone is watching me as I walk out and I swear to you they were! I tell myself I am being ridiculous and if anyone IS looking at me it’s just because they don’t see many 6 feet tall women walking around and maybe I am a freakshow to them. I hustle out and as I am waiting for the elevator to go back to the slasher parking garage, another homeless guy who looks a little like Jesus, if Jesus had a lazy eye, won’t stop stairing! I hit the elevator button again and sideways glance over and he is STILL stairing! Which if you are going to kill me fine, stair away. But if not, it’s just considered rude! I finally make it to my car, pay the toll booth and head back to work.
After committing this story to words it is very apparent that I must have some serious fear of public places… or homeless dudes. Either way I don’t think I will be going back to the public library anytime soon. I’ll stick to the safety of my little coffee shops where I can see my car from the window thank-you-very-much. Obviously I am not cut out for life in a really big city. I’d be having anxiety attacks daily. I’m actually a little dissapointed in myself to be honest. I pride myself in being an independant bad ass chick. I don’t like seeing myself as the stupid girl who when running from the chainsaw guy trips and just starts screaming while he keeps coming towards her. I want to be the girl who laughs in his face at his weak weapon then drop kicks him to the floor while yelling “IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?” because that is what a bad ass chick should do.
Back to School, Just me, Story Time
Text conversation with the boyfriend:
Me: “What do you think about me making you dinner tonight?”
ED: “Sounds good to me.”
Me: “Any requests?”
ED: “Nope. It’s up to you.”
Me: “Well I was thinking I’d skip the gym and go grocery shopping instead as I have no food in my place since the Secret has not delivered it to me yet. Plus then you’d be able to see me in my sexy business clothes. ”
Me: “OR I can go to the gym, pick up Greek food and you will get sweaty, hair in ponytail Summer and I will still not have food at my place.”
ED: I don’t want to hurt your health and fitness so Greek food sounds great. ”
Me: “How did I know you would say that? Fine… I’ll go to the gym, but just so you know, I am in a skirt today AND I curled my hair. Neither of which you will see.
ED: “It’s a damn shame, but I care about you and don’t want your health to suffer because I’m selfish. Besides, I really like sweaty post workout Summer too.
Seriously? Serves me right for dating a personal trainer. I try to get off the hook, with somewhat legitimate reasons, and he doesn’t bite. WTF? I guess should have known better than to try and seducing him with food and business clothes. He has non-human will power.
Last weekend I got depressed. Normally I am a happy-go-lucky type of person who is generally an optimist… but I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t go-lucky (whatever that means) and I sure as shit wasn’t an optimist. I wasn’t myself at all.
I’m not sure why it happens, but every once in a while I let the weight of the world that has been piling on my shoulders come crashing down around me. I over-extend myself and instead of turning into the superwoman I think I should be, the one who can juggle everything, I shut down and do nothing. Then because I am a bit of a control freak and feel like I am not controlling my actions how I would like, I get depressed and do nothing but sleep. Yeah. That is the best psychoanalysis I can come up with for what happened.
Luckily I was in enough of a frame of mind to recognize that I needed to do SOMETHING to pull myself out of it before beginning my work week or I would never survive. Sunday night I swung by Karina the Russians
place to borrow her DVD of The Secret
. I came home and watched it while attempting to do homework and you know what? The stupid show actually really helped me out! I started telling myself little positive reinforcements and visualizing things happening the way I wanted!
Monday I was stressed because due to my comatose weekend of imitating a zombie, I hadn’t finished my research paper or my math homework that was due the following day. I don’t normally get out of class on Mondays until 8:30pm but I just kept telling myself all day “there is plenty of time. Don’t stress, there is always plenty of time.” So then Monday night my teacher lets us out of class 1 1/2hrs early so THERE ACTUALLY WAS PLENTY OF TIME! I couldn’t believe it! I actually willed there to be enough time. Yeah, I was feeling pretty damn powerful right about then. I started trying to decide what to use my new found powers on next. Maybe for there to be food in my kitchen or my liquor cabinet to restock itself or maybe a free trip to someplace tropical!
I know it’s only been a few days but so far there is still no food in my kitchen and I just looked and I am down to one bottle of wine. I’m giving the free trip about another week to materialize before I let go of the idea that I actually have the magical power to will things to happen. Actually, truth be told, regardless of having magical willing powers or not, it just feels good to be back to me. I like to be happy and I love to laugh. Whatever I can do, think or say to keep me feeling this way is totally worth it. Because if I don’t want to be around myself, I’m pretty sure no one else would want to be either.
Yay for regaining my positive outlook!
Emotions get the best of me, Just me, Lessons Learned
Yeah, I know, I have been a blogging slacker. I have a lot of catching up to do starting with finishing writing about my amazing trip to moab!
The great thing about going to Moab with a group who has been there a million times is that they were all very concerned with making sure I was able to experience as much of Moab as possible. Truthfully, I felt like a kid visiting Disneyland for the first time. “Look at that rock! OH! No look at that one! Holy cow look how amazing this place is!” and the group would laugh at me and feel proud that they were the ones to introduce it to me. Like their little mountain child had finally found her way home.
We started out the last hiking day of our vacation with a 1 mile hike called “Park Avenue”. A far stretch from the real Park Avenue not that I have ever been there, but even if I had, I’m sure I would have like this better.
Next we mad a quick stop by “Balancing Rock” we only had 5 minutes before we were supposed to be at our next location but I had to see the rock from every angle. Julie came with. When we rounded the corner to head back to the car we saw a few of them were taking off so Julie and I did some trail running back to the car. It sounds funny, but all of sudden I had this image that we were two 10 year old best friends giggling and laughing as we jumped from rock to red rock.
Next stop was “The Firey Furnace”. In order to enter the laberinth that is the furnace you must have a ranger, a certified guide or take a class due to the complex maze of canyones you wander through. I was excited to have a ranger as our guide and let me tell you he did not dissapoint. He was incredibly knowlegeable, but I guess if you had done the same hike over 1,500 times, you would be too.
The funace was by far one of the coolest things I have ever seen. I tried my hardest to stay in the front of the group so that I could hear all that Ranger Lee was saying…I really am such a nerd.
After spending 3 hours weaving in and out of the furnace we finally emerged, ate a quick lunch and headed over to “The Delicate Arch”. Those of you from or familiar with Utahs license plate with the red rock arch, that is what I got to see.
The hike up is a gruling 1.5 miles strait up on slickrock. So Julie, Mariah, Chris and I figured the quickest way down was to RUN IT! Wind in my hair, sweat on my back, and smile on my face, that’s exactly what I did.
Lastly, I promised you “Indian Dicks.”
Ranger Lee informed me that is not the technical name for them. I guess in mixed company you should call them spires, but…look at them!
Mother Nature has a kick ass sense of humor is all I’m sayin’!
School this week has been occupying more of my time than my cat Aurora likes. She is sick and tired of me sitting at the computer desk or the kitchen table instead of the couch where she can lay on my lap. In fact, she is so tired of hearing herself bitch about it that she has decided to try a new not-so-subtle approach to letting me know just how she feels about college.
Oh Aurora! One day it will all be over and we can be couch buddies again. Until then I guess my teachers will have to deal with homework covered in cat hair.
Back to School, Random
Last Thursday night I was packing for my hiking weekend in Moab, UT. The boyfriend came over to spend a little time with me before I go. Of course he had to tease me that I was packing WAY too much stuff to which I adamantly disagreed with because the smart hiker is always prepared (so there!).
Upon arriving in Moab I quickly realized that not only was I severely UNDER packed, but that I also forgot my makeup bag. 4 days with NO makeup is just not acceptable unless you are boating or full blown camping! This weekend consisted of hiking and staying in a motel so makeup is pretty much required.
Me: I would like you to know that I am severely under packed compared to everyone else! Oh, and you will be happy to know that I forgot my makeup at home.
ED: How could you possibly be under packed? I think everyone else is just over packed and lets be honest here, you know you have some makeup with you. xoxo
Me: I hate that you know me so well.
I will have a full post complete with picture (yes, I will have makeup on so don’t be afraid to check back) in the next day or so. For now, I am going to crash. My aching muscles and my comfy bed are calling to me.
Me: “Hey babe, I need to talk to you about something and I know you are going to think I am a little crazy.”
ED: “Sure Hon, what is it?”
Me: “Could you please NOT put the lid down after you use the bathroom? I know it sounds funny, but Aurora drinks out of the toilet and you are cutting off her water supply.”
ED: “Your cat drinks out of the toilet?”
ED: “You realize you are asking me to go against everything I have been trained to do right?”
Me: “I am aware. But it would mean a lot to me so I don’t have to start giving the cat fresh water.”
ED: “I finally understand why your cat hates everyone.”
For the past 3 years I have pretty much dreaded, despised and cursed Valentines day. Being single will do that to you. This year however, I am not single! I am dating a great guy who is a planner
with a super romantic side. Everybody now “Awwww!”
I will actually be out of town for Valentines day so the boyfriend and I decided we would celebrate early. We both agreed to get all of our homework done in advance so that we would have no distractions and to spend all day Sunday together.
To start the day off right, the boyfriend made me breakfast. Yes this is my “Goldenrod” ghetto kitchen. I only wish you could see the push button stove better.
After our hearty breakfast of steak, eggs and Ego Waffles we got ready to head up the mountain. Around 10 AM the boyfriend walked into the bathroom to see what was taking so long. “You do realize we are going skiing right?”
Flabergahsted I replied “Don’t you even know me at all?” then turned to put another coat of mascara on.
We made it up to The Canyons around 11ish. The boyfriend turned out to be an excellent skiing buddy (although he is a boarder), and not just because he carried my skis for me from the car to the tram (which was excellent), but because he is so incredibly fun to be around. We ended up having a great time, even though he did have the nerve to throw snowballs at me. The weather was a little snowy but not too cold and we never had to wait in line for longer than a couple minutes.
After skiing we headed back to get cleaned up. The boyfriend made dinner reservations at Log Haven wich was unbelievably good! I had never really been there before. We had a corner table that overlooked the beautiful mountains. The service, the crab cakes, the wine, the steak and lobster – it was all fantastic. I am drooling just thinking about it again. And of course the company completed it all.
I seriously couldn’t have asked for a better (early) Valentines day. This man, the boyfriend, I think I am going to have to keep him around for a while. He is starting to get to me and for once it is not a scary thing.
Dating debating, Emotions get the best of me, Out and About