It’s time for another installment of Story Time. Gather around and get comfy, cause today is a good one.

Yesterday was a dreary day, all gray and rainy outside. Dreary days make me crave comfort food and the comfort food I had in mind for lunch was pasta. Unfortunately there is not a great selection of Italian places by my work, but I was determined that I would get my comfort carbs.

The first place I tried (Stoneground for my Utah readers) had absolutely NO parking so I left. The second place I went to (Al Fornos) had decided to close early because they were slow. Completely frustrated, but still determined I went to the one place I knew wouldn’t fail me, The Old Spaghetti Factory. Obviously not my first choice, but at this point I would have eaten cardboard.

I get seated and a 20-something male waiter comes to greet me. He takes my order then comes back with my drink. Somewhere along the way he must have decided that he is feeling uber confident because when he returned he had transformed into Rico Suave.

Waiter: “So…how come you’re not married.”

(Men always seem to know to look at your hand first thing before spewing their lines.)

Me: laughing politely “Um…well I was. I got divorced about 3 years ago.”

Waiter: “What happened”

Me: staring at him dumbfounded “Do you always ask your customers if they are married or not or is today just my lucky day?”

He rambles a lame response then asks a few more personal questions, like if I was raised in Utah, what my blood type is and my gross monthly salary. Finally he leaves and comes back with my food.

Waiter: “Did you miss me.”

Me: more laughing politely

A little while later, after checking how my food was about 3 times, I was done and it was time for the obligatory dessert offer.

Waiter: “So, can I interest you in some ice cream?”

Me: “No, I’ll have to pass. Can I just get the check please?”

Waiter: “You have a great figure so I hope that’s not why you are passing.”

Me: “Um, no. Just in a bit of a hurry.”

Waiter: “Anything I can do to make you stay longer?”

Me: “Sorry, gotta get back to work. Check please?”

Mr. Suave swaggers off and returns with the check. He slowly and deliberately reaches across the table to set it down in front of me. Looks me in the eyes with everything he’s got, which to me was a I’m gonna play it cool like I know you want me but really I’m too chicken to just ask you out because I am scared to death you will reject me look.

Waiter: “Come back again, real soon.”

Me: Throwing up in my mouth a little, giggling and plastering on my polite smile “I may just have to do that.”

I wink cause I am mean like that. Sign my credit card receipt and wrote him a note that just said “thanks for making me smile”. Which he did, every time I thought about him I laughed to myself. Silly man, he should have known that if he really wanted to impress me all he had to do was box me up some free dessert. Sweeten the deal, if you know what I mean. Yeah. Free dessert will trump cheesy pickup lines any day in my book.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Random, Story Time

So here is the problem with having a blog, people read it. I know, sounds dumb right? I WANT people to read it, but at the same time, it hinders me from talking about the things that are really on my mind.

A wise woman once told me that blogging is cheaper than therapy. So true, but what good is it if you can’t really say what is on your mind? For example, item one I’d like to talk about is x’s, in particular a recent conversation with one. There is so much I could say, so much I need to get off my chest, but writing about x’s has inadvertently hurt them in the past when they have read my blog. I never meant for it to hurt them, but it did. So now, to avoid that happening again, I CAN’T WRITE ABOUT THEM.

Second…how do I say what it is without saying it? How about I just say, in a very tip toe manner, it has to do with dating and whether or not to accept an invitation (with a much older man)? Shit, that is probably saying too much. But what am I supposed to do? Write about my cat all the time? It is, after all, MY blog. I should be able to say whatever I want. Right? But then there is the whole people having feelings and what not. I mean to the person(s) I am writing, or not writing about, it will be completely obvious that I am talking about them even if the rest of the world has not idea. I guess the problem lies in me caring. I should just learn not to give a crap. That’s the obvious answer here.

Anywho, here is my random rant of a post for the day. Since I am sure this post has not left you feeling uplifted, I’m steal someone else’s profound words…they seemed to help me today anyway.

“Our life’s a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently.”
- Palladas

Here’s to taking it lightly!

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Bag full of complaints, Just me, Random

I asked Karina the Russian what we will tell our new adopted son Bodie the cat when he grows older and asks where he came from. Her response was simple and too the point.

Karina: “He has two mothers and possibly one Dad! It’s like a typical Salt Lake City family! First mom and dad are a strong religious couple then they split up and mom becomes a non-lesbian.”

Logical enough. Just so long as he knows he is loved. That’s what’s really important.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

K to the R stories

A few weeks ago I went running for boobies with Karina the Russian. Saturday it was time for me to collect on going to her charity run by dragging her to my charity run…at 7:30am. The Squatters Chasing Tail 5K Fun Run for the benefit of UAATA (Utah Animal Assisted Therapy Association). I have helped with the marketing and PR (pro-bono) for the run for the past 4 years.
The turnout was amazing, their best numbers to date! Which is awesome because this is the one event that keeps them funded for the year. All participants in the “fun run” were welcome to bring their dog(s) with them. This was a little hard for me this year because I no longer have a dog. I also ran into my ex-sister-in-law, which was a little awkward, but it was nice to see her.
Karina and I chose to take advantage of the “fun” in “fun run” and walked the course. After the run they give out awards and have a raffle. There was a gentleman trying to find homes for some kittens he had found. Karina took one look at a beautiful white kitten, named him Bodie and we took him home.


Karina, Bodie and I went to the pet store and bought all of the essentials. We joked about him being our first kid together. We took him home, gave him a bath (he stunk! It was a necessity) and showed him the lay of the land. I’m a little nervous about his health, we won’t know how healthy he is until later this week when Karina takes him to the vet for his first time. I hope he is healthy…I think it would seal the deal of me never having a human child of my own if my new feline child doesn’t make it!

Blogfully yours,
Summer

K to the R stories, Out and About

I took my friend Sarah to see Metallica last night for her birthday. Pretty much I’m the worlds greatest friend ever. Please do not think about asking what I had to do to get these tickets. I’m not proud of it, but I have faith that with some counseling and maybe some shock therapy, I’ll eventually stop waking up screaming in the middle of the night. But I digress.

Sarah had the brilliant idea that we should dress up as 80′s rockers. Since I am such a great friend I agreed. So we ratted our hair and used super strength hair sprayed, we put on fishnets and miniskirts, we used thick black eyeliner with purple and blue eyeshadow and way too much mascara. Oh yeah, we looked HOTTT! In fact we looked so Hot that we decided to go to dinner before the concert and take public transportation just so even MORE people could get a look at just how Hot we were.

We didn’t end up staying for the whole concert. We came up with several reasons why it was OK to leave a little early, like Sarahs claw bangs were starting to get tired, we wanted to beat traffic, daylight savings was throwing us off, ass hole behind us spilled his beer on us, we are getting too old for this shit, etcetera, etcetera. Still it takes balls (or the female equivalent) to dress this hot and venture out into public like we did. But we’re mavericks like that.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Concert whore, Out and About

I had originally planned to post about my Metallica experience, but I think that can wait a day. Yesterday was possibly one of the greatest days of my life. I woke up, got ready just like any other day, then I went in the rain to go vote. I was fortunate that there was not much of a line. I started to cry as I pushed the button to elect Barack Obama as our next president. Never in my life has an election meant so much to me. Never in my life have I cared as much or been so informed, or involved. I came to work with a sticker over my heart and a smile on my face.
I went to class after school and thank god for text messages and good friends who kept me updated as each state announced their results. At one point the teacher announced that Obama was ahead. One student grumbled and “oh no!” I looked over at him like he was an alien because that’s about how much I can relate with non-Obama supporters. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I guess I just forget sometimes that there are people out there who do not have the same as mine.
After class I got in the car and turned on NPR as I drove home. I picked up a salad from my favorite Greek restaurant and rushed home to watch as the results continued to come in.
I was sitting on my couch eating my salad, giving little pieces of chicken to my cat Aurora, when they announced that Barack Obama would be the next president. I screamed and started cheering. I’m sure my neighbors all heard me, but I didn’t care. Let them hear me I thought!
I watched McCains graceful and well spoken speech. I watched President-elect Obama’s powerful acceptance speech. I couldn’t help but cry. This was a defining moment in history and I am so excited that it happened in my lifetime. There is a buzz in the air and it is infectious. I really feel that we CAN make a difference. My own personal efforts to do what I can to make this world a better place don’t feel in vain any more. I have hope. I have pride for our country once again. I am looking forward to the future instead of fearing it. In short, Summer is a happy girl today!

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Just me, sometimes I get on a soap box

The time of year that all single women dread is coming up; “The Holidays.”

I dwelled on this thought a little too long this weekend. I let my mind wander to the huge family Thanksgiving dinner as well as the Christmas celebrations with all of my relatives. The thought of being the only single one there, while my sisters and cousins all chase around their kids, makes me want to stay home and pull my fingernails out instead. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my family. I just don’t know if I have the energy to fake a smile and say the obligatory lines of “yep, still single. No, not really seeing anyone either. Yes, one day I’m sure I will find him. Yes, I realize I’m not getting any younger. Here is some salt, can you please rub it in this open sore?” Smile and repeat with the next well intentioned relative who is just trying to be nice.

Then there are all of the work related parties and New Years. New Years! I haven’t been single on New Years in over 10 years! Somebody shoot me now!

Of course I called up Karina The Russian to listen to me bitch.

Karina: “Summer, Christmas is not about being with someone with a cock and balls! It’s about being with someone you love. I will be your date! You don’t need a stupid man!”

Me: “Yeah but you are dating someone now so you are going to want to spend the holidays with him. Which I totally understand.”

Karina: “No, he is not my family. YOU are my family. We will make cookies and drink wine and sit by the Christmas tree and stare at the beautiful lights!”

While I was fishing for sympathy, I also told Sarah how I woke up feeling really low. She told me next time I felt that way to drive over, climb in bed with her and we would watch movies and drink wine in bed.

Basically I’ve decided to quit bitching for the time being because really I’m incredibly blessed to have such amazing, beautiful, understanding, supportive friends who are always there. They get me. They understand that wine and friendship can get you through anything, including the holidays.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Emotions get the best of me, K to the R stories, Loved One(s)

Halloween this year was a blast! The details of the night are a little hazy and honestly not really important. What is important is that everyone enjoyed themselves, we were safe and nothing bad happened. We laughed, we socialized, we met a lot of interesting and best of all, we took pictures!

Here are some shots of Jessica Rabbit (me), The Russian mail order bride (Karina), and “KO” the pink boxer (Staci).



To pull off the costume I did require a little bit of….um….”assistance” in the way of gloves rolled up and tucked under my bosoms to “enhance” them. I guess that was my trick and also my treat for everyone! Ha! I kill me sometimes!

Happy Halloween!

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Halloween, Out and About